BPD is ruining my life

Yes @sugarcoatedhero

We can't know what really causes pain to others - we can assume some regret and learn - then move on.

My son died a long time ago - it was his choice and I have learned to accept and respect this - a hard lesson

He was very young and couldn't take no for an answer - some people can't - I loved him though - that is wonderful - the best of things - thanks for your kind words

Owlunar

Hey @sugarcoatedhero ,

Thank you for sharing your story. I, too, have had BPD struggles in my life. So much to the severity that I felt like a leech - sucking the life out of people.

I lived on the extremes of life - either idolising people or hating them... there was no in between. I suffered, and so did those around me.

Being so acutely unwell, I was admitted in to a BPD specialist clinic. I underwent 18 months of mentalisation based therapy. I can truly say that after completing MBT, 5 years down the track, life couldn't be better. I wish I could explain what MBT was, but I find it very difficult to explain. It's not a set of skills you learn and practice like DBT.

Whatever it was, it has absolutely transformed my life. It was a long and arduous process, but it paid off. I can reflect back and say that I feel like I have a 'new brain'. It wasn't an overnight change. It was a subtle change over hours and hours of individual and group therapy.

If you engage in DBT, group therapy is vital. Otherwise you are just learning DBT skills. Gorup therapy is where the change comes.

As for relationships... I really really struggled and I felt that I missed out on life because I couldn't maintain any friendships... nowadays, I don't have many friendships, purely because I don't want to. Yet there are people would flock to talk to me and call me ALL THE TIME... they want to hang out, but I just don't have the energy to invest in friendships (not a priority) because I love my job here as a peer worker. It's brought so much meaning to my life.

I've learnt to embrace my BPD. I've learnt to live with it, and I see it as the best thing that has every happened to me.

There IS light @sugarcoatedhero - I've proved it.

Hello, @Kyle1. It's been quite a while since you were about and I'm wondering how you are doing. I hope your absence is a good sign. I was going to ask you if you saw the Aurora Australis last night. It would have been remarkable. Stay well.