BPD is ruining my life

Hi @sugarcoatedhero

It's horrible to feel you've caused someone pain - it's no one's fault though

We all have our limitations and boundaries - different people deal with it differently

My son had BPD - we were a household in chaos - we lost relationships - even my family of origin

I loved him though and still do decades since he died - blaming myself would be a waste of my life - it would also dishonour his.

People with BPD can be difficult - aren't we all at times. Use this as a learning experience and move on when you can - don't hold onto it - we all have limitations

I wish you the best

Owlunar

@sugarcoatedhero I know how you feel, you are not alone.

I wish I could provide some kind of advice but I am in the same situation and struggling to cope too.

BPD is so painful and people without it don't seem to understand how intense and severe the emotional pain is.

I hope the pain will lessen for you soon

Welcome, @sugarcoatedhero , it's good you've joined.

I'm sorry to hear about your devastation 😢

I'm going to tag @tyme and @BPDSurvivor , both of whom have not only come to terms with their BPD but have embraced it as a positive factor in their life. Reading their posts is inspiring.

If you'd like to, you can read the thread Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script to meet others who have BPD on here.

A handy forum tip is if you tag someone by typing @ and then clicking on their name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply.

Welcome to you too, @sad6 🙂

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@sad6 wrote:

BPD is so painful and people without it don't seem to understand how intense and severe the emotional pain is.

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I'm sorry to hear 😢

You too can follow the thread Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script if you'd like to meet others who have BPD on here.

P.S. @sugarcoatedhero I want to thank you for mentioning NSSI. I had never heard of it, so I googled it - and it's what I've had all my life since a tiny baby!

you're not alone in this @sugarcoatedhero

@Owlunar2
Thank you for sharing, and I’m so sorry for your loss.

You’re right about everyone having their own limitations. I will try to move on from this, however it’s a tough pill to swallow knowing that my attempt to get my support needs met caused pain to others.

sometimes the pain to others @sugarcoatedhero is brought on by themselves...

expectations of others can be like a cage,.. and you the bird that does not belong in there...

and it's not the birds fault if it recognises as much...

Hi @Kyle1

That is an excellent comment - sometimes any or even most of us have an expectation that is unrealistic - which is pretty normal - hoping would be better - that can be dashed too. I so totally get that

We can also be beautiful birds trapped in a toxic cage and need to get out - there is no blame to be given nor had there - it's the way it is and we all need to self-care

All the best

Owlunar