Christmas advice

Hi @Lola123

I know how hard Christmas can be, especially when there is a rift in the family. Unfortunately it comes down to the old saying 'you can choose your friends but not your family'. It makes it even more difficult when there are children involved and you want to make it a happy and memorable time for them.

Whilst I got no advice for you, I acknowledge it can be a hard time and understand completely where you are coming from. It has been awhile since I have seen some of my family.

Take care

Snowie xoxo

@Lola123 👋🏼 Perspective.

Kids are pretty easy to please. For us it was a family water pistol :pistol: fight, Blow up pool and a BBQ.

The only thing you can control is what you do.

Making kids laugh is the best thing in the world.

Hey @Lola123 ,

I hear you. Although Christmas should be a time to 'celebrate', it can be a very difficult time for many.

I wonder if you can visit members, but ensure there is a time limit? For example, let the young people know in advance that it'll only be 1-2 hours? Or, have the gathering in a 'neutral' place such as the beach or park?

Welcome, @Lola123 🙂

Personally I don't do Christmas any more, due to trauma from my family of origin. But I recognise that I don't have kids, so it's easier. I don't think I will ever be healed from the damage that attending 47 years of family Christmases caused. I know it was such a relief to find out that there were some people I knew who have decided not to do Christmas any more. Hence my reply to you.

Do you have kids yourself?

An important forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply.

I feel your frustration on this issue as it’s very similar for me.

The only suggestions I can offer you would be to only extend yourself as much as you want to and not push yourself to engage if it’s not in your best interest.

Secondly set a firm boundary for yourself and express it. For example if you feel like the way you’re being spoken to is not respectful;

”I do not like the way I am being spoken to and I deserve to be addressed respectfully. If you continue to be disrespectful I will be leaving”

The important thing with establishing boundaries is to follow through with them and whilst I know how hard it can be when heightened emotionally, remaining calm and stating your boundary firmly will eventually start shifting boundaries