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A little about Franscene

A little about Franscene

Hi, as you may have gathered I'm new to this forum. Why am I here? I am hoping that by reaching out to others with similar experiences to my own I may gather the strength and insight I need to help me "move on" - whatever that means. I have suffered from depression and anxiety since my teens, however, I have memories of "catastrophic" thinking linked to my OCD since the age of 4. That was 40 years ago so it's been a while. My main issues at the moment centre around avoiding the things I need to do in order to lead what I see as a fairly "normal" (sorry I'm obsessed with inverted commas) life. Things like cleaning my ridiculously messy house so my kids can have friends over. Things like getting a job so I can contribute financially to my family. I almost feel as if I have given up trying because it's easier. I can't fail if I don't try. I am overwhelmed to the degree that my anxiety levels sky-rocket when I consider or try to deal with these issues. Ironically, not doing anything also causes a great deal of anxiety. It's one thing for me to be a failure it's another entirely to take my family down with me. I have two children who I love immensely (I worry a lot about them) and a kind, loving and considerate husband. I have supportive friends. I have everything in place to make for a happy existence. I get fleeting moments when I see it, when I realise how lucky I am but they are few and far between and pretty soon I'm consumed by my dark thoughts. I see a shrink, take SSRIs and benzodiazepines when needed. I also rely a little too heavily on codeine. I have recently started engaging in mindfulness meditation which I feel has great potential. Sorry to waffle on, there is so much more I could say but that's enough for now. So worried as it is about posting this and about how others may perceive me. Thanks for reading .

18 replies

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In response to: A little about Franscene

Re: A little about Franscene

Hi Peace,

Thanks for your reply.Thanks also for making me feel welcome here. Our stories sound so similar! Good luck with the decision about the new meds.

Hope to hear more from you.

Franscene

In response to: A little about Franscene

Re: A little about Franscene

Hello @Franscene

Hi I'm Rick.

I'm a little late to the wagon wagon but welcome !

It's never easy living with a complex mental illness. So much of our stability is reliant on our own skills to cope and managed it.

The fact that you can utilise a forum such as this speaks very highly of your strength to win.

Anxiety is a complete bugger is'nt it. it just does'nt know when to back off.

depression is a major buzzkill and of course the longer we have a MI the more intensely we feel about it.

It's not like a cold or a broken limb or even cancer. All of these things have straight forward treatments and often obvious and positive outcomes.

It's not like that with complex MH is it?

Well you are not alone in the world. There are peole of this forum and other forums as well who can relate.

Your condition may be unique but the experince of it is often a shared one. Many of us know the experience of mental illness and all of it's consequence in one form or another.

Keep on posting.

Use the forum when things get tuff. Share your wins too.

We are a community unto ourselves. We have excellent boudaries and I personally believe that everyone here not only wants to share but wants to part of something bigger than themselves and the the enormous challenges we face.

I think truly that it is a life changing place.

I always end my posts with this statement

Hope endures

Rick

In response to: A little about Franscene

Re: A little about Franscene

Hi @Franscene

I noticed your comment that you're not sure how to reply to several people at once. You do it this way @peace @Rick @Baboo(assuming you are using a pc not a phone, if using a phone maybe @kato or @Alessandra1992 can explain).

1. Once you have typed the @ symbol - called "mention" on the forum - then immediately start typing the person's username, without a space

2. After typing the first 3 characters, like ric for Rick, a little "matches" box should pop up with a list - then click on the name you want - it will be shaded in grey on your screen when you have selected another user's name correctly. If it's not in grey then it probably means there's a typo, but it can mean the function is playing up - which it does sometimes, especially if you make a spelling mistake.

3. The mention then makes your post appear in the mentioned person's email digest, so they get your message even if they weren't on the forum that evening or rmissed your post on the forum.

I know it sounds fiddly but you will get the hang of it, it's pretty easy once you get used to it.

Good luck & looking forward to hearing from you!

Cheers,

Kristin

In response to: A little about Franscene

Re: A little about Franscene

Hi, Franscene. Congratulations for being brave enough to join this great forum. You certainty have your share of devils. MI is all encompassing and is also a would-be home wrecker. But you are very lucky to have a great partner. The MI you have is a real ....... And the meds are horrible. May I enquire why you are on the pain relief, I have been taking that for a period, on and off , for nearby 40 years and the side effects are also crappy. Please don't stop accessing this form because there's a world of knowledge in these forums. May I welcome you and echo the words of the other members.
Loopy.

In response to: Re: A little about Franscene

Re: A little about Franscene

Hi Loopy,

Thanks for your welcome. I have beem taking pain killers for over 5 years now. It started initially as I was getting debilitating headaches most likely related to anxiety. Unfortunnately, it appears the headaches I continue to experience are known as "rebound" headaches. So, essentially your body gets used to the meds and you develop pain in order for your body to get the dose of pain meds it is used to. Its a physical addiction and a psychological one. Definitely not helpful! I have an addictive personality and this doesn't help. I have worked on and off with my psychiatrist and a drug counsellor but don't seem to be getting very far.

Thanks again,

Franscene

In response to: Re: A little about Franscene

Re: A little about Franscene

Hi Kristin,

Thanks for your helpful information.

I will no doubt refer to it often.

Franscene

In response to: Re: A little about Franscene

Re: A little about Franscene

Hi Rick,

Thanks for your welcome and words of wisdom. I love that you end each post with "Hope Endures". It's so helpful to be reminded.

Franscene

In response to: Re: A little about Franscene

Re: A little about Franscene

Franscene, I you look at the mayo clinic for rebound headaches there is a wealth of knowledge to be had.

Hope it helps. I was gouing to leave a copy for you to read but a second thought was to leave it up to you to choose.

loopy.

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