Odyssey_OnwardsNew Contributor
Autistic parent seeking reassurance
Hello!
Seeking some reassurance.
I've had an extremely difficult year. It's hard to summarise as so much has happened. I had my second baby at the end of last year. The birth was traumatic which kicked off postnatal depression & PTSD. I've also been diagnosed in recent years as autistic & ADHD, which I am still learning about.
I needed an inpatient admission for a few weeks earlier in the year which was helpful but hard as I had to be separated from my kids. My partner is highly supportive but very burnout - working fulltime, caring for me & the kids.
When I was unwell, I became very angry and explosive (not in a violent way, but I was very intense and found it hard to move past my traumatic experiences). Unfortunately this has damaged many relationships. I feel really socially isolated.
I also have a lot of uncertainty about my ability to work in the future. I am a professional and much of my identity was in my career. Before having kids, I was quite successful in my field. I fear now my professional reputation has been damaged. I work part time, but am struggling with this and know the job I'm doing is not sustainable long term. We are struggling financially because I can't bring in an additional, reliable income.
We are in a regional location, so supports are very limited. We don't get much help with childcare. I have a new NDIS package but am struggling to navigate this and find supports that suit me. Our oldest child is autistic. We are navigating this also. They are a beautiful kid, but very intense. So my partner and I do not get any time alone to recuperate, make plans, just enjoy our relationship. My partner is very averse to seeking help for himself or for us as a family. I have to navigate this myself with a struggling brain.
I don't feel hopeless as I've had mental health issues throughout life and have experienced recovery. Life just feels so relentlessly difficult. I feel utterly overwhelmed and alone. I am very help seeking. I have a great psychiatrist. Medications are helpful. But I've struggled to get much support outside of this because I am finding my experience so niche that there is always some aspect that is not understood - e.g. having to talk to a male crisis counsellor and not having my postnatal experience understood, having my disability invalidated, being seen as too low risk for acute care... I am in a rut.
