~ The Toolshed ~

@scruffypuffball 🤗🌺

^^ditto @Glisten ’s and @creative_writer ’s posts 💜😊

@PinkFlamingo @Jynx @Glisten @Alonely @Shaz51 @Snowie @Dimity @NatureLover @_PixieSolstice_ @Captain24 @Bow @creative_writer @Appleblossom

Yup:

It's not normal:

Dr Ramani said this in a recent interview, "you are in love, they are in power"

@Glisten @Former-Member @Shaz51

yes, love should not hurt. dont confuse love with abuse

@PinkFlamingo @Jynx @Glisten @Alonely @Shaz51 @Snowie @Dimity @NatureLover @_PixieSolstice_ @Captain24 @Bow @creative_writer @Appleblossom

Ah! here it is I found it. This is so important, I am here to raise awareness. Let's build our strength ❤️

@PinkFlamingo @Jynx @Glisten @Alonely @Shaz51 @Snowie @Dimity @NatureLover @_PixieSolstice_ @Captain24 @Bow @creative_writer @Appleblossom

This is Shahida Arabi's tiktok explaining how trauma affects the brain even when you are calm.

https://www.tiktok.com/@shaylolita1111/video/7284266347897294123?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

@Jynxthis is a video where Shahida explains how if you leave them and go back you will get worse abuse (i havent had time to go thru my collection of research, I am very busy lately, one day when I have time dammit):

https://www.tiktok.com/@shaylolita1111/video/7292250687172381998?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

@scruffypuffball I am never going down the abuse road again.

Boundaries and requirements all the way.

Since I have been applying Boundaries to me and my relationships, it cut some dead wood and that is a very good thing.

Do you exercise Boundaries?

G

@Glistenyes, they say once you have gotten away and started to work on your recovery, you cant go back to the way you were. You can't unlearn it all like it never happened. Your brain has changed. I am relapsing since last week due to family stuff... but I wont go back. Keeping my distance.

So true @scruffypuffball

Boundaries have been the most important tool I have acquired.

Exercising Boundaries stops my toxic traits.

G

@PinkFlamingo @Jynx @Glisten @Alonely @Shaz51 @Snowie @Dimity @NatureLover @_PixieSolstice_ @Captain24 @Bow @creative_writer @Appleblossom

"Chronic Sadness And Narcissistic Abuse
One of the hardest parts of narcissistic abuse is, the continuous overwhelming sadness victims feel. There is this chronic painful feeling of sadness that seems to have no end. Not just because of the loss of the relationship. But because you would never treat another human like that. There is this deep sorrow almost like the emotions of a child, who feels unloved, neglected and unimportant and thrown away. There is something about narcissistic abuse that brings you to your knees. They treat you like you don’t matter, you don’t count, and you are nothing. It’s that feeling of being left behind and unwanted. It is the sadness of knowing people like this exist. It’s the sadness that they really don’t care. It’s the sadness that you met a person who has no ability to love and most definitely did not love you. And it’s the sadness that this is your reality, and you part of the many people who have unfortunately experienced and are privy to narcissistic abuse."
~ Maria Consiglio

Yeah, this hit hard, when you are made to feel worthless as a child when you havent even had the opportunity to develop sense of self, boundaries, confidence. I was always the outlier, blaming it on the generation gap, now realising it was an empathy/decency/morality gap. I feel better now, I have come a long way... but i guess that hollow feeling in my chest is sadness. Ok, now i need to get all punk and say I am glad I gave the finger and stopped getting validation from those morons. There, phew. Now, on that note, time for bed.