About me

Hello everyone,

As I think about explaining myself and my situation, I wonder how I can stop myself from writing a book (which I should do one day)!

I guess I'll start with some facts:

I'm a female, 53 living in a small country town in Queensland. I have struggled with my MH all my life. In my early 20's it became severe, and I was first hospitalised. I was diagnosed with BPD, and major anxiety and depression.

Since that time, I have had good and bad times. It was only back in 2018 that I became 'well' enough to consider working again. This year I have finally managed to retain permanent part time employment as a Director of a Kindergarten.

My life has been a challenge, but I like to think of it as a journey - filled with hills and valleys.

I am in my third marriage. I have one son who's almost 20 (we try to be civil to each other).

I have been hospitalised 3 times, received ECT twice. I have tried to commit suicide several times and have self-harmed many, many times. I have very bad scarring on my body, which now proves to be embarrassing at times. I am learning to wear my scars with pride - they are signs of a battle that I believe I am winning.

I am currently in a fairly good place. I have decided to use the SANE forums so that I can share with others my journey and be a positive support, someone who understands. While I am feeling good within myself, I am also at a point where I am searching for another job and seeking Psychiatric help yet again. I have a Psychiatrist, a Psychologist and a Social Worker who all help me with my journey. I need this support.

My husband tries very hard to support me as best he can. I have the usual BPD trait of constant fear of abandonment, but he helps me by telling me every day that he's not leaving.

I also change my mind all the time, have terrible perfectionist behaviours, very poor self-esteem, and other traits that make a borderline.

I'm learning to reflect, think, learn and do. I'm getting older, so far this illness hasn't beaten me, and I'll take every day as a blessing.

JRMum comes from me having 2 beautiful Jack Russell's that light up my life - Harry, who is 11 and has been through everything with me, and now Cora, a beautiful little girl who is just 5 months - and a terror!

I look forward to sharing with you, and hopefully being empathetic and having a true understanding of what you're going through. I currently have some time off work, so as I look towards my next venture I can spend some time getting used to the forums, reading your posts and responding to them.

Thanks for reading, I'm happy to be sharing my journey with you!