Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
NikNikSenior Contributor
Hey hey!
As a carer, we give so much already, and sometimes when Christmas comes, we can feel pressure to give so much more.
Before complete chaos hits, join us now to share and pick up some tips on how to manage Christmas.
@CherryBomb will be joining us tonight to facilitate the discussion.
In response to: The gift of giving too much *session closed*
CazzieSenior Contributor
In response to: The gift of giving too much *session closed*
Alessandra1992Senior Contributor
In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday now on - The gift of giving too much
CazzieSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday now on - The gift of giving too much
coffeegirlSenior Contributor
This time of year I sometimes wish I was a kid again, when Christmas was magical and wondrous
When I was a kid, none of the things that stress me out now, were even on my radar.
I've come to realise over the past few years the main stressors for me are:
- What to buy people. I know it might seem ridiculous - but I REALLY want people to love what i buy them. I've been known in the past to buy something for someone, go back 2 days later and exchange it... and then go back and exchange again (thank goodness for shops like Target who are okay with my indecisiveness)
To manage this, the main thing I try to remember is that people are just appreciative of the thought. And I've never heard of anyone say "I really lost respect for you today because of the Christmas present you got me" so that helps me put it in perspective
- People around me who don't enjoy Christmas as much as I do
LIke I said, as a child, I loved Christmas, so I find it really stressful and disheartening when someone doesn't enjoy their day. I try and try to make it special - but sometimes I feel like it's not 'special' enough. It seems so silly when I read those words! I have come to terms with this and just accept it. I also conciously try and hang out with my friends' children on Christmas day and in the lead up.. they really get into it.
- work
Holidays are great, but I have so much to do before I go on leave. I've not enjoyed some Christmas' because in the back of my mind I've been thinking about work! Now I plan a bit better. I have a list of key things I need to get done, rather than the last min rush.
Oh Christmas.. you are wonderful but somewhat stressful!
In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday now on - The gift of giving too much
Unknown userMember
After 13 months myself & psychologist have finally managed to get thru to hubby & hes agreed to see a psychiatrist but he's wiggled out of doing it before Xmas, he's planning on solitude over the holiday & repeating patterns "I need to get fit", "I need o rest" last Xmas he slept about 20 hours a day for 2 weeks.Talking to a MH professional he may need admitting to stabilise but has no idea that such an option would exist
Any tips for me?
I don't think he'd plan any harm to himself but when hes "flying" he has little insight.
We have an agreement that he'll keep in touch at his pace for te next 3 week & will txt if walking remotely alone which is normal for us.
In response to: Re: Starting now: Topic Tuesday, 16 December - The gift of giving too much
CherryBombSenior Contributor
Both @Cazzie and @Snoo raise some points about the challenges of caring for others during this time of year. While you are both going through very different experiences, it seems that something you share in common is that it's not only do you have to worry about the people you care for but meeting the needs so many others - What presents to get? Who's over for Xmas? What to feed them? How to manage stressors for our loved ones? @Alessandra1992 raised a good point about looking out for ourselves! We can become so focused on giving to others, that we forget about ourselves. This is why it's so important to think about our needs too during this time of year.
@Cazzie, it's great that you got a few things that you can turn to have some downtime. Does your DH have anything to help manage his stress? I can only imagine how things are feeding into each other. I think other peoples' stress can make other people's stressed so it's important that each person has there own way of coping.
@Snoo, you mentioned that your family care for your loved one and will be spending the time in 'lock-down' at home. It sounds like your family has been through this many times before? Planning with your family members may help. Perhaps agree on who can do what and when, to allow you to take some time out to do things that you enjoy over the break. It might also be helpful to develop an emergency plan too. Is that something that you would consider?
In response to: Re: Starting now: Topic Tuesday, 16 December - The gift of giving too much
CazzieSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday now on - The gift of giving too much
SnooSenior Contributor
Yes cherrybomb. My family and I have been here many times before over the years. We usually get by. We all chip in. I don't live with this family member but my mother does so I go around there to chip in and give my mum a break and keep her company as she can't really go out on Xmas day. Luckily I don't live there so can leave so I can do things I enjoy once i leave. For an emergency plan, my family calls 000 if we think our loved is at risk.
@Former-Member what can you ask that is realistic from your husband to feel ok? I asked myself with my family member. What I came up with was that it unrealistic for me to ask my family member to stop drinking, and stay sober at social events, but I needed to know that they were safe. Hence our family Christmas Xmas is at home. Not the greatest but it's all we could come up with for now!
In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday now on - The gift of giving too much
CazzieSenior Contributor
In response to: The gift of giving too much *session closed*
happygirlSenior Contributor
I find when it is Christmas there is so much pressure about family events. There is lots of emotions that come up including avoidance from both the carer and one being cared for.
What I find best is clear communication about what you want, both to the one you care for and to family. And you can't please everyone.
Compromise is also another good thing. Maybe one year you do what the carer wants and the next year you do what the person being cared for wants.
I have had to learn that the hard way as it has always been what the one being cared for wants. The carer's needs were not being met.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
You’ll soon be able to use one secure login to access all SANE services.
For added security, members are now required to log in with their email address and password - member names are no longer supported for logging in.
If you had a Forums account before 19 May 2026 and haven’t set up your new login yet, you'll be prompted to set up your new secure login when you sign-in.
Fields marked * are required
