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Managing thoughts of suicide & self-harm

Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

TideisTurningSenior Contributor10 Oct 2023, 4:44 pm AEDT

Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

On Tuesday 31st October, we’d like to invite you to join us to explore talking about suicide safely, caring for those living with chronic suicidality, and the importance of speaking out rather than suffering in silence, with a few of the SANE Team.

This discussion will likely be triggering for some as we talk about suicide. We strongly encourage you to take a moment to reflect if you are able to talk about this as you can always read through the discussion later. If you would like to participate, please take care of yourself first (including tapping out of the discussion if needed or reaching out for extra support) and be mindful of our guidelines, particularly around safety.

The event start times across Australia are below:

WA: 2:30pm
NT: 4:00pm

SA: 5:00pm

QLD: 4:30pm

NSW, ACT, VIC & TAS: 5:30pm

Want to receive a reminder on the night? Hit the 'Support' button below and we will tag you 30 minutes before the event starts.

New to the forums or want to get involved in this discussion? Check out the How To Guide for Topic Tuesdays.

Hope to see you there in the chat on the night!

122 replies

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In response to: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

Captain24Senior Contributor31 Oct 2023, 6:51 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

I so totally feel that @TideisTurning. There is so much more to it than just wanting to end it. It takes a lot to end up in that suicidal space. It’s not so much help to stop you ending your life it’s more so helping with what has lead you down that path.

In response to: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

chibamSenior Contributor31 Oct 2023, 6:51 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

@Snowie wrote:
When you ask someone if they are suicidal, it is so much more then a yes or no.

IMO, suicide isn't as binary as life or death; it's about the best option available. There are fates better then death, fates worse then death, and in the middle, there is death. I just want the highest rung on the ladder that I can get.

If all the fates better then death are blocked off to me, then let me have death, rather then any of the options less desirable.

In response to: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

amber22Senior Contributor31 Oct 2023, 6:51 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

Just as long as we know that you are safe, you're always welcome to use SANE as your safe space.

And even if you aren't safe, we can help you with some steps always (as you know!!) ❤️

You're never alone @Snowie

In response to: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

TideisTurningSenior Contributor31 Oct 2023, 6:53 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

Starting to wrap up our discussion now with our last question for @Snowdragon:

What is self-soothing? How might it help someone experiencing suicidality?

For the community: What might a go-to healthy self-soothing activity be for you? What self-soothing or self care activity will you do to take care of yourself after the discussion this evening?

In response to: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

chibamSenior Contributor31 Oct 2023, 6:53 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

@amber22 wrote:
I've found when talking about suicide to people it is always best to just be super upfront and (sometimes almost confronting), and as long as the person that is receiving this information doesn't make you feel burdening or judged because of what you're expressing, then I think you're doing really well in letting people know.

I don't think I've ever met anyone like that in my life, @amber22 .

Even amongst the people who have responded most gently to my suicidalness, most seem to just be trying to interrogate me so that they can build a strategy to manipulate me around to behaving according to their desires.

In response to: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

lemlem678Senior Contributor31 Oct 2023, 6:53 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

@chibam completely agree with what you've said. Rather than us feeling we have a choice, often it ends up we do things out of compliance to alleviate the distress responses from other to our experience of not wanting to live. Compliance is not the right approach to stopping people from suiciding.
I wonder if people could easily get a prescription to die how many people would take it up? How would that potentially change the landscape of suicide and talking about suicide.
Assisted dying is reserved for those who are terminally ill. What about those who do have mental health issues that don't go away and are forced to be the living dead essentially.
There are so many systemic issues that are contributors to people not wanting to be alive and these things just do not seem to ever get address or changed.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

SnowdragonContributor31 Oct 2023, 6:54 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

When you feel emotionally overwhelmed, the emotional part of your brain (called the limbic system) takes over and the rational or thinking part of your brain takes a back seat. Calming your emotions (or self soothing) is an important skill to develop. The trick is to find self soothing activities that work for you

There are three different factors that can make a particular activity more soothing:

Familiarity: Activities that are associated with pleasant memories from the past

Multi-Sensory: Our emotional brain responds best when activities are multi-sensory and involve sound, sight, taste, touch, and smell.

Repetitive Motion: Studies suggest that repetitive motion, such as chewing gum, knitting, or rocking in a chair, can produce serotonin in the brain. Our bodies are naturally inclined towards repetitive motion, like pacing, when we are agitated.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

Captain24Senior Contributor31 Oct 2023, 6:54 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

Can I talk to you about this later please @amber22 ?

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

SnowieSenior Contributor31 Oct 2023, 6:54 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

I know that SANE can be a safe space @amber22

I also realise that there are times where we need to step away for our own mental health.

Another concern is of course triggering others when I feel suicidal. I don't want to put that on members that are already struggling with their own mental health.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

amber22Senior Contributor31 Oct 2023, 6:56 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

Of course you can - although I won't be on after tonight.

@Jynx and @Melbcoffeesnob are with you tonight.

But if you wanted to chat about it with me tomorrow I'll be here and can send you a message in the morning ❤️@Captain24

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Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.