Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

What would you like support people and/or others to know about experiences of suicidality?

Just because I have thought of it doesn't mean I am going to do it. Yes I have attempted before but sometimes our history doesn't mean we will try again.

Not to jump to conclusions.

Not to call me selfish

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@amber22 wrote:

...to make sure that the people that you do tell don't make you feel invalidated or try to tell you that what you are feeling is wrong. Whatever you are feeling, you are feeling, and it is completely okay.

It can be really good to let others know exactly how you're feeling (even if the words do come across confronting in the moment) it's always best to try explain exactly how you're feeling (emotion-wise). @chibam

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It sounds like the process is really dependant on having access to "the right people", @amber22 . Unfortunately, I only have access to a very small group of people, and none of them are the sort who can easily take a message like this; at least not spoken directly.

I tried to communicate this idea to my therapist repeatedly, but either there was something wrong with my communication technique, or she just refused to listen. Probably the latter, but quite possibly the former.

To take me seriously but to listen to me at the same time. I need them to have so trust in me and I need to trust in them

We do know that previous attempts can put people more at risk, so at SANE we have to take our Duty of Care (for both legal and caring reasons) very seriously to make sure that everyone is okay and safe ❤️

@Snowie @Captain24

When you ask someone if they are suicidal, it is so much more then a yes or no.

Suicidal thoughts has so many layers to it. I don't need a solution. I need people to realise that there are so many steps that I have gone through to get to the point where I want to commit suicide. I need to talk about those steps in a safe and caring environment.

I think one of the most important things about suicidality for me is that it’s not necessarily as simple as wanting to die or take your own life. That’s just what other people can see on the surface, but just like an iceberg, there can be so much more hiding underneath that has led someone to experience suicidality- that's what's important to understand to truly support someone I feel.

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@TideisTurning wrote:

For the community: What would you like support people and/or others to know about experiences of suicidality?

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Suicidalness is not a mental illness! Preferring death to certain standards of living is completely rational and fair. When I seek out help for my life that's worse then death, I am not looking to be brainwashed into believing a new code of values that refutes the existance of fates worse then death. I am not looking to be bullied, coerced, or restrained (via medication, or otherwise) into abstaining from suicide. I am seeking out practical help to correct the atrocious circumstances of my terrible life.

Stay the hell away from my brain and fix my life!

@amber22 I understand that and sometimes people do need that intervention. It is just hard when you have no safe place that you feel like you can discuss suicide. I realise that fine line is indeed very thin.

What would you like support people and/or others to know about experiences of suicidality?

That rarely is suicide or thinking of suicide is a selfish decision. That people who talk about these feelings are not attention seeking. We are connection seeking and trying to find someone safe who will listen and not judge us. If they cannot understand why someone would want to end their lives, they should ask questions so they can learn to understand and see from a suicidal person's pov. Judging us doesn't help at all and reduces us reaching out for help and that could result in a successful suicide. Whilst those of us who understand and can feel relief for that person who is now gone because we know they are no longer suffering, that people tend to think more about themselves and how they feel about it than how the person who wants to suicide or has suicided feels/felt.

Sometimes it is really hard to know who the 'right people' are to tell @chibam and also it can come with a lot of trial and error!

I'm sorry that your therapist wasn't very clear when you tried to explain it.

I've found when talking about suicide to people it is always best to just be super upfront and (sometimes almost confronting), and as long as the person that is receiving this information doesn't make you feel burdening or judged because of what you're expressing, then I think you're doing really well in letting people know.