Tired and lonely

Hey @Kyle1, howdy 🙂 How have you travelled today? Me? Meh….

goodmorning, @Former-Member

I'm receiving your message just now.. Sunday morning...

Yesterday? Yeah, it went from meh for me to severely depressed. I carry depression everyday to some degree, and when it gets really bad it's like my soul is lost in some far away damp, cold cave kilometres beneath the earth... it's at that point I simply give up.

And giving up looks like two things: sometimes it is accepting where I am and trying to be Zen about it. But sometimes the giving up looks like taking whatever way out I can. Which is SH. And that's a weird state of mind. I notice a very odd blend of both sorrow and relief in the thought...

That was my evening. And I've still made it to today.

It's rainy with nothing to do.

If I'm able, I will likely cook and watch another movie with the kids later.

How's your Sunday shaping up?

Good morning @Kyle1,

Sunday morning here too, morning spent scuttering around, attempting to juggle washing ( that damn mountain really stretches to the sky) breakfasts, sorting out homeschooling curriculum for Tuesday. My boy is homeschooled.

I read your post and was moved by your deep sadness. I’m so sorry you feel this way. But you made it, to today! A day that’s a whole fresh start, full of possibilities. If you crawl out of that deep, danky, cave, you can experience that rain you mentioned, it can soak into your very soul, it can be so cleansing. Do you have a tin roof? Can you hear the pattern, the beat of the raindrops on your roof, dancing to their own song.

I apologise, I’m an individual that taps into my senses when I’m feeling really down. I will walk outside and plunge my hands deep into the cold, dark earth, ( hard when it’s raining, I know, but I don’t mind the rain, my daughter sometimes dances in it) or take in the scent of a newly opened rose. Or I will brush my hands against the lavender to release its herbaceous scent. These little things can only help to heal me. Everyone is different and this may seem obscure to you!

I hope your day gets better.

not obscure @Former-Member .

Makes perfect sense to me. I am very much a sensualist! Without saying as much, my new psychologist picked up on this about me at our first meeting.

She gave me the same advice (even tho she said she not supposed to give "advice" - but im so glad she did)...

And it was simply to let myself be more mindful of the scent of my soap in the shower, or my essential oil...

It is uplifting, I agree. But yes: I have to manage to crawl out of the dank first, don't I...

Yes, we are under a tin roof. But what caught my attention this morning was the sideways patter of rain on the window... it was...different.

Then I sidetracked down the rabbit hole of instagram, and an endless scroll of aesthetic pictures. Not too pleased about that. Far too addictive!

Hmmm…Interesting about the rain @Kyle1 Yesterday a wren perched on my fence and sung such a pretty, high pitched song. And that was one of the highlights of my day…

I hope you’ve climbed out of that dark place…

wrens are beautiful little darlings @Former-Member

And although they're an introduced species, so are goldfinch... I really like their song 🎵

Hello @Kyle1 how are you going? I have been looking at the eclipse season which comes up soon. Doing some kundalini yoga so I don't get rattled by it in the leadup. Making more conscious choices in my life based on Oct 2005 and 1987 in the same Saros Cycle when these eclipses occurred previously. Wish I had of kept a diary all those years ago. But we've got two weeks to get our act together before the eclipse doorway opens, clearing outmoded habitual behaviours, beliefs etc.

OK... well, I be trying @Former-Member

I have a very stressful thing coming up at the end of the week. And it's weighing on me already...but I'll be trying to get thru and beyond.

Thank you! 🙏

I have been doing some birdwatching lately with my daughter, @Kyle1, and we have been trying to identify all the species that frequent our back garden. Of the natives, the King Parrot is magnificent ( I’m pretty sure that’s what it’s called, I’m new to this), the bright red breast and contrasting green plumage. Beautiful. Also, onto the topic of flora, trying to introduce more native species into our garden to attract more native wildlife. I never knew so many wonderfully diverse plants and trees existed being native to Australia. We have such beautiful flora and fauna.

oh, you're so right @Former-Member

Native Australian species are spectacularly unique! Especially when you add to that the knowledge of just how durable and hardy they can be!..

We might almost take lessons from them 🤔, hey? ...