New to group

Hi, Over the past 5 years I have been trying to support my son after a toxic and nastisitic relationship breakdown. He has no self esteem and is always negative, I try to put positive spin on things but it doesn't help. I reassure him we are all here for him but no matter what I do or say it's not helping. I have asked him to get help and I would pay for it but he refuses. I have tried everything and now wondering if I am helping at all or just adding to his issues. Thank you, I feel venting may help me cope a litt