struggling with MH

Am ok now, was pretty down earlier.

See heres the thing....you should go for a walk, or exercise, to help with MH however, when i do this it feels like i am on a different planet on my own, while people are passing by. And now, another evening after a pointless day and no one here. Go to bed for another restless night...and wake up at 4.30am for repeat. Sorry, so negative, but that is what i feel.

@magpie4 no apology needed, it's obviously a real struggle for you right now and you deserve to be able to talk about it freely.

Can be super stressful feeling so disconnected when you're out and about. Do you have friends or family who could join you when you go out for walks and stuff?

I go with some people on Monday mornings for an hour.

Each day is so hard. Penny only dropping with me that he really cheated on me and thats hard to accept when he felt so much for me, i am so dumb to only realise this now. I will never learn. I am not young. So, what kind of love is that when you find a replacement? I am just done with everybody, no one is truthful. I am and never would i do that.

Hey there @magpie4 ,

I'm tyme, the Community Lead here on the forums. Welcome to the forums. I'm so glad you popped in to share what's happening for you. It's such a brave step in that you are able to speak about what has happened.

I hear how much you connected with this person, and then all of a sudden, it was as if you were ghosted. I hear your hurt. I hear the grief you are experiencing.

Please don't feel that things will stay feeling this way forever. Losing someone or something can send us into a state of grief. Grief works through its stages. Talking about the loss is a clear first step.

I hear it is difficult for you right now. We encourage you to continue connecting with people. I've read that you go out for about an hour on Mondays.

When I was recovering in my mental health journey, I used these forums as a way to connect with people and feel a sense of belonging. I felt I could speak freely about my MH and not be judged. I hope you find the connection here has helped you feel less alone in this. It doesn't take the pain away, but it may help to know that you are not alone. I can see that @amber22 @Jynx and @Snowie have all responded to you too.

You deserve to feel supported at this time.

Thank you, i will continue on here, i feel i can vent out what i am feeling as although family are supportive, i cant burden them with my thoughts and feelings every day, but when MH is this way, i need to say it to someone or i feel my head is going to explode. I am going to bed now and hopefully sleep all night. Thank you again for listening to me.

Hugs @magpie4

Feel free to tag us by typing "@" in front of our names. Once you start typing our names, a drop down list will appear. This way, we get a personal notification of your post e.g. @tyme

Please take care. Have a good rest and we can chat tomorrow.

Thank you. I had a good sleep, managed to sleep until 6am. Already starting to fall down. I have work to do. Already I know the day will be like yesterday, empty, wont see anyone, might have a phone call or might not and that will be it until bed time, another pointless day to wake up to. Also, still going over in my head about what happened and trying to understand it all and blaming myself, the result is, I am completely on my own now and missing all the good times that we shared and I miss dreadfully.

well, another day of the same, sorry to say. Worked for a couple of hours early this morning before fallng flat again, crying, upset over what happend, going over the conversations that we had and how it has turned out. I am just a mess. I did go out, because that is what you are supposed to do even though I dont want to. Walk in a daze really, and feel like I am just going to fall to the ground. Came home to try to get more work done. I feel like a total wreck, my head is splitting and my eyes are so tired from crying and just with unhappiness. I cant cope to be on my own, which is terrible. My sister had organised for family get together at my house, as one of my brothers lives quite far away, and easier to come to my house. I am totally unable to entertain and told her this. I am happy to see anyone but not to go into what I would normally do if they were visiting for lunch, just not able for it. They are coming on Saturday however I have asked my brother if he would come up tomorrow (he lives 3 hours from me). He is doing that and will stay until Sunday.