struggling with MH

Hello! @magpie4

Welcome to the SANE Forums 🙂

My name is Amber22 and I am a Peer Support Worker here.

You have definitely come to the right place, you're never alone here!

Is there anything specific you're struggling with at the moment?

Sitting with you.

Thank you Amber. Had a recent relationship break-up. I have been crushed by this and have been constantly crying, every day, every night, since May, getting worse with my MH. I try to move on, but this is very diffucult when you start feeling so bad and eventually not doing the things that once were so enjoyable. I am working, but struggling with this atm, luckily I work from home. If I had to actually to to work, I would be away on sick leave.

Oh that does sound so tough @magpie4

Firstly, I am so sorry that has happened, it can't be easy at all. Breakups are horrible, so it is really valid that you're feeling this way.

I just wanted to remind you that even though you might not feel like it now, you were whole before them, and you are whole after them. This grieving period is the hardest, but with time you really do start to feel better I promise.

That's really great that you can work from home, and somewhat keep up your work. You probably already have heard this, but keeping up your daily routine and making sure you do things for yourself really is important. Is there something that you can do that makes you feel a tiny bit better? Even if that's just a few minutes of meditation, or sitting in the sun for a little bit? It doesn't have to be anything too big or strenuous, just one little thing at a time.

Sending you hugs,

Amber22

Thank you Amber22, I have gone from being a bubby social person to nothing. I struggle everyday with trying to do things, especially on my own. I know and understand others can do this, but at this moment, it is soo hard for me. when I go to do something that I once enjoyed, I am off in my head, and questioning why I have gone out to do this, as everything seems pointless. Every day is so upsetting, I actually dont feel any day is worth waking up for, as it just the same with the crying and feeling so low and bad in myself. I have now even expressed to my family, that I am not well at all. they are very supportive, I am lucky, but it does not help.

Oh @magpie4 , you are definitely not alone with those feelings. It is an extremely hard thing to go through and I am so sorry that you're experiencing it.

I am really glad that you have some support from your family. Oftentimes we think that we can just go through things by ourselves or not feel the need to tell others because you don't want to have to explain it all etc. but it can really benefit us in times when we need people. Being open with our loved ones about how we're feeling can be the push we need, and they can be there for us when they see we aren't doing well.

Are you currently seeing a professional to speak about how you're feeling? Or are you open with other people about it so that they can give you some support or advice?

I know what you mean about having to force yourself to do things, and when you are doing them you just wish that you were home. It can feel like that sometimes and it is really hard, but if you keep forcing yourself to do little things, one day they really do start to get a little bit easier, even if you can't see it right now. But make sure to start small, maybe just a coffee with a friend/ family member, or going for a 10 minute walk and listening to a podcast. It's so valid and understandable that you won't be able to be your usual bubbly and social self, it is a grieving period after all!

Sitting with you

Hi @magpie4

Will respond to you here.

So glad to hear you are seeing a psych. I hope they are making even just a little difference in your life.

Please keep reaching out on here.

I can understand not wanting to wake up. It is something I struggle with daily.

However there must be something inside of you that wants the help.

Well done for reaching out for help.

I am currently seeing a Psychologist, this was for other issues that I needed help with ie. my grown up kids,however, now I am consumed by this issue which has crushed me. I thought this person was amazing, the best to have entered my life, then it finished totally out of the blue to me. As this person was such a sensitive, loyal person, wearing heart on their sleeve, I was taken aback. I did give the space initially, then sent emails and a letter sharing all that we had which was just amazing, no reply. I went to see this person face-to-face, nothing shifted. Eventually, only 2 weeks ago, it turns out they are with someone else, this shattered me as this person was so devoted to me, how do you move on like that, especially being the person that he is. I dont understand it. so after me thinking that we could eventually be back together, this will not be happening and only being told 4 months down the track, when I could have been told back in May, very cruel.

thank you Snowie, I really dont know what to do. This is so unlike me, just not interested in doing anything and at the same time, dont want to be on my own. then when I am with people, I want to leave, to cry or sleep. Its just ridiculous

@magpie4 your feelings are very real and valid. It is hard to move on and even harder to keep functioning every day.

I understand the not wanting to be alone yet not wanting to be around others too. It is hard when our brain is so muddled up.

I'm sorry to hear about the breakdown of your relationship.

That is one benefit of these forums. You can be heard and feel like others around you understand.

Oh @magpie4 that does sound so cruel, it is horrible to be blindsided like that. You're being so strong, even if you may not feel like you are right now.

It is good to chat to a professional about how you're feeling, but it's also important to have a good support system to lean on. Your partner sounds like a really nice person as you described them, but seeing what they did does seem like you have been blindsided a bit, it is really important that you take care of yourself like you would take care of a friend or family member going through this. Maybe think if your child was going through this, how would you support them? What advice would you give them? Those questions can sometimes help us gain a bit of clarity when we feel like everything is a bit of a mess.

Sometimes we wish others would communicate with us how we would communicate with them, but we can't control that, so it is best to focus on what you can control. Be kind to yourself, it's totally valid to be feeling the way that you do. There is no timeline on healing!!