Struggling to be

Oh man,

Just watched last night's Q&A, and very bothered by some of the things stated, implied and tweeted about mental illness.

It's great that it's rising in public awareness, but there are also severe downsides to that. For one, people are starting to equate mental illness with suicide, as if one inevitably equals the other. It's not so, and while it doesn't help someone who's MI to be treated with suspicion, as if they're on a perpetual unspoken suicide watch, it's also disspiriting for someone who's genuinely suicidal to be invalidated and treated as if they're thinking that way "just" because they're mentally ill.

But my other concern with this rising visibility is that people have a habit of thinking that once they're aware of something, then they know about it to the extent that their opinion is as good as anybody's. Worse, in my experience people who are NMIs (by which I mean not mentally ill, but my mind is also amused to note that if you say the letters out loud it sounds like enemies) tend to think that, because they're "normal", then their understanding of the situation, their opinion, wishes or intentions, trump yours in absolutely every instance. it's galling to be spoken to in the same over-caring manner that people speak to the infirm and the elderly, like we're disabled simpletons. And I find that, because a lot of people judge their own self-image by how sharing-caring they are, as if that "proves" their quality as human beings, if you say no to their latest bit of cossetting then you're somehow saying they're not great human beings; they take it as personal invalidation and take offence. And then they often get hostile and regard you as ungrateful.

All of this is hot on the heels of my being sacked by my therapist last week, which may of course have something to do with my bleak outlook at the moment. (No, d'ya think?!) To be honest, he was pretty hopeless at the job, and I'm genuinely better off without him, but it awakens that old thing of "I was supposed to be the one who chose to leave, not him". I was trying to tell him why I felt his series of Pronouncements From On High the previous week had missed the mark, and he first got indignant and superior, and then he got quite nasty. I know, no loss, but I'm bothered by the thought that he's supposed to be a professional and mindful of the effect his actions create, and he still chose to sit there, slyly trying to score narky little emotional hits like a twelve-year-old girl. I've had that sort of thing happen to me many times in my life, and I've become quite emotional and frightened by it. I honestly can't tell whether there are a lot of people out there who play Life that way, and I somehow attract an inordinate number of them ... or if it's simply me, that I somehow engender that kind of response. I think it's the latter, and it scares and depresses the crap out of me. Why do my feelings and wellbeing matter so little to people that even supposed professionals don't make any effort to be kind?

I'm like a sad little kid, I know. But I'm not talking about it out of self-pity; I'm talking about it because it's my only reality, the only thing I know and the only thing I have to share. I'm not saying "please feel sorry for me"; I'm saying "please understand and accept me". (And, at my most frightened, "Please tell me I'm going to be okay.")

I can hear the rain drubbing on my corrugated-iron roof and burbling through my rusted guttering, and it seems a fitting soundtrack.

I sort of take the contra view. Yes, there are plenty of prejudices relating to MI and that's going to take a long time to change.

Some people i know treat me as a bit of a feel sorry for case but most treat me quite OK and try to give me a lot of flexibility relating to my schizophrenic behaviour.

Whilst some are "experts"on my condition, they are so because they are either genuinely interested in the condition or they really care about my wellbeing. Whilst ignorance abounds in relation to all MI most people i know are trying to gain an understanding about it.

I also find this behaviour relates to other conditions such as my epilepsy, the same treatment as I get with my MI. So I don't think the ignorance and condescending behaviour only relates to mental illness.

Nasty people are about irrespective of the context, MI or not and I never bother with these type of people in any situation.

Q&A also had a discussion with the Federal Education Minister and a panel about the radical Islamist threat from ISIS.

His odd interpretation was that all of them suffered from a mental illness and that youth MI organisations like HEAD SPACE should be directing their attention to Muslim youths before they were radicalised.

Most informed debate makes the point that radicalisation of young Muslims comes about because of marginalisation, poverty, unemployment and includes a perverse interpretation of Islamic teaching.

Whilst it is true that some of these youths could be mentally ill, there is no evidence to suggest that Muslim youths suffer from MI any more than the general population.

I didn't like the impression it gave of linking MI to suicide bombers, which although maybe unintended left a very negative impression.

My experience of MI professionals has been mixed, as you say. The responsibility lies with us to make informed choices about the quality of the support we receive from these professionals.

I have never been reluctant to terminate a relationship with any MI professional who I felt did not meet my aspirations about effective treatment. After all we are the client and they are the service provider.

Likewise I have had the situation where a MI professional has terminated a treatment relationship with me because of my lack of confidence in their ability to make a difference in a positive way to my MH.

In life, I have found that there are endless combinations with respect to the behaviour of people and their interaction with me, as a person. Those variables are symptomatic of the diversity of human behaviour. Some good, some bad.

For me, avoidance of negative elements exhibited by some has meant that I have a very small group of friends and acquaintances who only emit positive vibes.

It is regrettable that your experience has been less than optimal. I try to tip the balance towards a kinder type of person and jettison the others.

Unfortunately those with MI have to work very hard to establish and maintain meaningful relationships with all aspects of society because of prejudices and stereotypes.

This situation can also relate to those health professionals who are meant to support us.

I have found that wading through the maze of effective treatment options exhausting but in the end I finally have arrived at a place, which for now, is effective.

yes, I think there can be a conflict of interest with treatment by some of these MI professionals.

I don't deny that I need admissions to either the MHU or the clinic on occasion.

But I often wonder why I get yanked out of the public MHU and put into the private clinic for long term treatment when I have originally been admitted to the A&E.

The clinic gets paid a heap of money for looking after me but I would be quite happy to stay in the public MHU especially as during a big episode I wouldn't have a clue where I was anyway.

The boss psych is a part owner of the private clinic and he makes the decision to send me on there, so I am never sure if its a decision made on a financial basis or not.

I am not complaining about my treatment or care at the clinic-its great but maybe it would be cheaper for the taxpayer to have me admitted and stay in the public MHU.

I like the nurses there and you get treated with respect as well.

It seems to me we have a two tier system in our health system which sometimes mixes up the money side of things versus the best interests of the patients.

I also think there needs some performance based criteria understood by patients to measure some of these practitioners.

In most other sectors of the community service providers are subject to feedback from their clients. I don't think I have ever been asked to performance review any one of my health practitioners.

Then again, I guess that some in this group would have the typical prejudices that people with MI are incapable of making rational judgements.

Dear @Aonaran

I am really glad I didn't see that Q&A. Sometimes never watching TV is such a blessing. Too much bad news and BS for my health's liking. Otherwise I'd probably have steam coming out of my ears too.

I certainly would over the psych's attitude. Some of them can be so full of themselves you really wonder why they went into a "helping" profession - for the bank balance or their ego maybe? You sound well rid of him, whoever made the move. I agree with Sandy though it would be very unprofessional not to have a tleast suggested someone else instead.

As for people who take pleasure in lording it over others - either overtly or covertly - the world seems to contain many, it diesn't mean you're a magnet any more than say someone in a wheelchair. Maybe just that they are on the lookout for likely targets. Fending them off makes it very hard to notice the genuine people who really do want to have a genuine and shared friendship.

Take care of you.

Hope for helpful help truly does endure, even when you look for years...

Kindest regards,

Kristin

What I am saying is that we are capable of making our own decisions on treatment.

The trouble is that some medical professionals dont think we are capaqpble of doing that.