@CherryBomb wrote:
Hi everyone,
I saw the conversation that unfolded here on Tuesday night, and I felt like some space was needed to let the dust settle before I could contribute. Forgive me, if this interpretation of the situation is wrong - perhaps others feel like there was no dust to settle. But this is exactly my point, this is my interpretation, and what's true for you, may not hold true for me.
I'm concerned about members on here feeling misunderstood, and it saddens me to think that some members feel disrepected. It can be really upsetting to have someone tell you what you're thinking, when you're not thinking that way at all. And in reverse, it can be equally upsetting for someone to be told they are thinking a certain way, when they are not.
I'd like to point out here that we all bring our own worldviews for seeing a situation. Like this image below, some may see two animals glaring at each other, others will see a tree. What we see and experience in a situation, might be perceived and experienced as completely different for someone else.
Hi @CherryBomb
My heartfelt thanks for this post of yours. I know I've taken a long time to stick my nose out of my cave and sniff the air again, but your post certainly helped encourage me to step back into this circle. I really admire and appreciate your grace.
Nobody has to agree with my perceptions of my life -- and believe me I'm quite accustomed to the fact that people rarely do -- but then, they're not walking in my shoes. For several years, I had a friend from the Lakota First Nation in the US, who taught me many things -- she's gone now, killed in suspicious circumstances on a lonely road in Africa, and she leaves a very empty space -- and one of her absolute fundamentals she would state as "Take from no man his song". For me, that means to ask someone what they're searching for, rather than assuming you know what would be good for them.
I hope this isn't taken as justification, but a word on what it is that I personally am searching for, and why I've posted what I've posted here in the past:
I'm travelling a very solitary path these days; I have no family, no companions, to do the social grooming of picking metaphorical salt crust and lice from my fur; no-one to willingly spend time with me and thereby give the subliminal reassurances that I'm okay and of some inherent value. In that empty environment, it becomes increasingly difficult to parse events of my life, to understand what they do or don't mean, and to know how much weight and how much notice I should give to anything that happens. So I write them here. And yes I'm often verbose, of course I realise that, but it gives me a sense of feeling my way through it. It gives me at last the illusion of talking with someone, and if people make a comment, or blessdly give reassurance by saying "I understand what you mean", or stimulate my thought by saying "Dont you find that ..." ... then that's a massive bonus to me. I may be in a cave, but at least it's just a couple of valleys over from the tribe, not on another planet. What I'm *not* doing is saying "Oh woe is me" or "Isn't the world horrible", regardless of people's assumptions; I'm saying, "Hey guess what happened to me today", because my cupboard is otherwise pretty bare and I don't have many things to contribute to the communal meal.
But one thing I really don't need in my life is more messages of "You're not OK" and "You shouldn't be like that" and "You'd be so much better if you were like X" (which generally really means "if you were more like me"). I'd rather be asked how I enjoy wearing yellow Dunlop Volleys than be told in a loud voice that fill the room and halts the dancing that no-one wears them anymore, and I really should be buying Brand X. (Even if they don't make shoes that actually fit me.)
@Alessandra1992, @PeppiPatty, thanks for the friendliness. @Alessandra1992, I would chop wood for you anytime, if the offer still stands. 😉
