Wish it was over

It sounds so tough for you @Former-Member . But your cats do adore you. All our animals do, regardless of what we think of ourselves. Our pets think we are amazing. Do you have something nice you can do for yourself today? It's hard when you don't sleep well and have physical pain as well.

Thinking of you

Hanami

oh gosh @Former-Member

It's saddening to hear your bed time wishes. Maybe because they reflect my own.

It's hard, isn't it? To live with fear and pain.

Infact, it hardly seems like living at all, but rather agonising death...

I am sending you warm thoughts and prayer for relief 🙏

And if it doesnt come through, i recommend cheesecake!

Hi @Former-Member

I live with physical pain too - and I know how tough that is. I do have a pain specialist though and the treatments help.

Have you thought of seeing a pain specialist - or can you? There are things that can be done to help - I have had a lot of relief for my back and knee pain and what he does helps my shoulder - which is something I have to live with.

I am not at the stage of wishing it was over - but I do hear you - I am glad one day it will be and that's different - I try and get the best out of each day. This takes resilience and this is not easy to learn.

We will listen can do our best to support you and each other - don't give up hope - just knowing people care is something that can help.

Best thoughts

Owlunar

@Owlunar I don’t see a pain specialist. Will try to remember to discuss this rheumatologist on Thursday. Local gp I have been seeing this year is good with general medical areas. When comes to other areas ever he has said he doesn’t have the knowledge, which is fair. Downside is he doesn’t have the knowledge to help with pain relieve for me.

scan was requested for total different reason for which outcome was negative. Results of scan were not what I was expecting and shocked both local dr and myself. Scan showed up 2 different substantial areas of concern, both of which cause nerve pain from my mid back down. Only meds local dr has mentioned is anti inflammatory plus specific otc pain relieve for arthritis.

im in the midst of preparing to move house at start of next month. As discussed with my psychologist I’m using a storage unit for majority of my things. My original thoughts had been a car load of items once each day to get everything to storage unit as quick as possible. That went ok for first few days, now due to pain I’m doing one load each 3 days with other 2 days spent trying to recover and moving to new area to get comfortable for awhile. Some days can’t even enjoy a walk around the block due to pain

.Hi again @Former-Member

GPs are very limited in what kind of drugs and how much they can prescribe.

And complex pain issues require specific knowledge - so yes.

Discuss this with your specialist - it can cost a lot to see a pain specialist- but it is worth it -

There are drugs especially for nerve pain - I haven't had them myself but I do know people who have. I guess you do need a lot more help than you are getting right now.

Alas - chronic pain is rarely cured and can only be managed - with luck we can manage it. There are public and private pain management services and they vary - we need to be proactive on our own behalf and this isn't easy either.

All the best

Owlunar

@Owlunar I have some knowledge about one type of medication for nerve pain.

similar to myself my late husband had disc degeneration in neck/shoulder area. His pain was lot worse than mine. His local dr at the time started prescribing pain patches at one stage which gradually got stronger. He was also prescribed some type of tablet which I remember he saying helped.

When I was early teenager I sustained spinal injury ie 2 cracked discs in my neck area. Knowing impact this meant and limitations on things I can do I’ve always been subconsciously worried about anything related to my spine.

part of me is anxious about what rheumatologist is going to say etc, the great unknown always makes me anxious. Know I’m also looking forward to finally seeing the specialist for her to fully explain exactly what the scan results mean for me plus am hoping to discuss medication.

One of the few relatives I have any contact with has RA. He is very supportive me and very happy to know I’m finally seeing a specialist.

Some days I feel fairly ok. Today is not one of those days.

knowing there are people through these forums to chat with does help.

one of the hardest things for me is living on my own on a dark day

@Former-Member your last line there 'one of the hardest things for me is living on my own on a dark day', breaks my heart. I really want you to know we are all here for you. I know it's not the same as people there in real life. But perhaps it can be okay for a close second for now.

x

Yes @Former-Member

I do know what it's like living alone on a dark day - usually the weather fits my mood - staying in bed with a good book works to keep the pain easier and I don't have mental health issues now - I have in the past -

Still those dark days are tough.

I have a lot of OA - it's a different issue - painful though - so I do hear you and understand - also - I have few relatives left and I only communicate with a few - mostly I don't feel like sharing my issues - but I do listen - and read these forums,

I wish I could be more useful - I had reactive depression when I was much younger - when the cause went away so did my reactive depression - and I do understand

Sending my best thoughts

Owlunar

Hi @Former-Member,

Ongoing pain and feeling scared are difficult to deal with. I'm sure your cats love, enjoy and are happy you are there. Here is an idea to think about... Writing As A Form Of Therapy - SANE Forums. You are not alone and the world is better with you in it. Hope this is useful 🙂

Thanks @Blackbird11 Couple months ago I started journaling which so far has been going back over my past.

im couple weeks away from downsizing to a new home with lots of things having been moved to a storage unit.

last 2 days of this week I have couple of appointments to attend.

might be perfect timing to read that article again and take some time out to go back to journaling.

my cats are most important thing in my life and the top item recorded in my safety plan for reasons to keep going each day