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Kyle1Senior Contributor
I heard Seattle is the rainiest city in the world. But that's not true. The rainiest city is me. And every umbrella I've ever had has flipped inside out, or buckled beyond repair.
I don't know how much time I have left, but I really would like to move from this rainy city. Go somewhere verdant and songful. Where sunshine is other people's faces, and star light is the truth of their words. And they are at home in my unrainy sky.
In response to: Seattle
HistoryloverSenior Contributor
I'm on my phone which doesn't have the same abilities as my PC, and makes me post about 4 times before a successful post. Rewriting is exhausting. Cut and paste isn't available-but what was it you said to me yesterday about vowing to work through these difficulties together?
There doesn't seem to be an Eden anywhere, @Kyle1, I think we have to make our own Eden. And we're all doing our best aren't we? But we just need help, not to be processed like one size fits all.
Sending you best wishes for a much brighter day today, and that the rain is outside, not inside.
In response to: Re: Seattle
Kyle1Senior Contributor
yeah, I'm working @Historylover I can assure you. 🙏
I guess part of that work is putting up with the rain - as you know.
I'm no meteorologist, but I have heard it is a sure indicator of rainbows to come...
In response to: Re: Seattle
HistoryloverSenior Contributor
I hope you have a sunshiny day, @Kyle1.
In response to: Re: Seattle
Kyle1Senior Contributor
thank you, friend. I've taken myself out, looking for something to delight in... if I find it I'll be sure and let you know @Historylover
How are things with you today?
In response to: Re: Seattle
OwlunarSenior Contributor
I hear you @Historylover
We have to make our own Eden - which wasn't a safe place either - and we need help.
I had a rough time during childhood - I had extended family that was supportive - totally invaluable - beyond price - and my Dad was pretty great - but my mother - oh yeah - best left unsaid.
Somewhere and somehow - I learned reliance and how I wish I could teach that to others. We need help and finding it for ourselves is really tough. I do have the luck of the Irish and consider myself lucky that I found it - that's priceless
My son though - didn't - and back in the 80s there wasn't much at all - in fact mental health issues for children wasn't mentions - ever - so whatever could we do.
I still battle physically - but manage - I can feel vulnerable at times - I have learned though that even though I see the glass as half-empty (I am 80 now) I intend to make the most of what I have left.
That things in our past are memories - imo - it is memories that make it hard - memories can be tougher than the events.
Sending my best thoughts HistoryLover
Owlunar
In response to: Re: Seattle
HistoryloverSenior Contributor
I've attended an exercise class, and will roll up to Recovery Focussed Group soon.
@Kyle1, beyond family responsibilities, do you have goals, interests, things that you can learn, get better at, and derive satisfaction from? Would you like to pursue cooking interests eg? Pursue broader writings? Does your church have groups of interest? Would you like to save for a holiday? A home?
What is your goal at the moment? I'm tossing up to see what I'll try next.
In response to: Re: Seattle
Kyle1Senior Contributor
Yes, goals are potent drivers @Historylover
Unfortunately my church is no longer my church. I walk alone in whatever is left of my faith, and if there is a mighty hand above it will have to reach down a little more because I'm really stretched right now...
I do want to save for a holiday, infact. But I don't even know where next week's rent is coming from, yet.
And I often think I'd like to get better at guitar playing. When I try to practice something new I discover my patience is missing all the strings required...
Another thing on my upward mind is hats. I like hats and should like to learn how to make em !
In response to: Re: Seattle
HistoryloverSenior Contributor
It's been a long time since we corresponded, @Owlunar. I had to assume that I had offended you some way. I also sent you an 80th birthday wish, but you didn't acknowledge it so I just shrugged my shoulders in bewilderment.
I must get off to my Recovery Focussed group. I have difficulty deciding whether to co-operate or just stay by myself. Everyone has trauma of one sort of another and being rebuffed is not easy when your not well yourself. Hoping life is treating you well.
In response to: Seattle
Eve7Senior Contributor
When I was in Seattle I wondered when they took the photos on their postcards as they all had blue skies, white snow on Mt Rainier and green grass.
Obviously to have green grass the sun must shine sometimes so I believe this can be true for you when the sun can shine just on some days. I’m sorry you feel this way @Kyle1 and I truly am sending you some sunshine 🌞 today.
In response to: Re: Seattle
Kyle1Senior Contributor
thank you @Eve7
It is a little cloudy down here in the valley today. But I took myself out, anyways, and guess what happened...
I ordered a coffee and sat in a quiet room all to myself when in walks my abuser... sits down to tell me how I have demons in me and unless I confess them out then the head trauma she gave me remains my fault
WTF?
guess you might understand why I'd like to disappear, huh.
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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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