Far and Away

@Faith-and-Hope 💜💜💜

I expect it will take time to get used to that after so many years of Mr monitoring everything you do @Faith-and-Hope The irony is not lost here that while he was doing that he was off living a life separate from you all That feeling of having your own privacy will take time to get used to but it is great that you have that back for yourself too. In my experience it takes a lot of re-learning as what you have previously had to deal with takes a lot of time to feel like you have control over your own life again. Keep taking those baby steps Hon and keep looking after You. 🌹🌷🌸🌺💛🧡💚💙💜😘

I knew you would understand what I was talking about @Zoe7 ..... so good to see you ❣️

The kids are going to have to come along the same sort of path, and I can see them struggling with it .... but taking these steps we all must, and it will gradually get better, but is likely to get worse first.

I am around the forums and looking for you, even if I am not posting much.

Hugs ❣️

And to anyone else who could use one here ....

I still need to have that distance myself from here @Faith-and-Hope I cannot deal with much other than my own life at present and much like you and your situation - it will take time to get through. I hear you about your bds but unfortunately they also need to step up for themselves and find a way to get through all this in their own ways. It certainly is not easy for any of you and I can imagine everyone is feeling both saddened and betrayed in what has gone on ...I do believe this is a good thing for you all though as Mr has not only showed his true colours but given you all 'an out' from the constant control and demands he has place upon everyone. Your bds can now also have the space to deal with their own issues and moving forward can gain that control back over their own lives too in whatever form that takes.

As for me - life is still really hard. I had a fall on the steps at work on Monday and hurt my back again so it is both a physical and mental struggle getting through each day. This afternoon was a really difficult one with a lot of kids out of control in the classroom and some really upset kids at the end of it. I didn't deal with it all well but talked to some of the kids after school and will follow up again with them and their teacher tomorrow morning. One of the great things about this school is they follow a restorative practive approach so getting the kids all together so everyone knows how the others have been affected and talking about it helps.

Financially I am still very much struggling also and whilst the extra day a fortnight will help it will take the rest of this term to pay everything I owe ...especially to the vet. Cat is doing well though - eating well and back to her happy little self. She will have her next ultrasound in a couple of months so we can see if the cancer has returned or spread anywhere else. There is that constant worry about that but I am also very much trying to enjoy every moment I have with her for how long that will be.

My sister also moves soon and there is still no word from HR about next year - so that is all still up in the air. ...and worst of all I found out unexpectedly that my ex was back in the state - only for a visit to family but that was enough! I have taken some comfort knowing he lived far away so this was not something I dealt with well. ...nightmares returned and I have fallen back into old habits at times to get through. I am safe now but there have been many days that I just did not care again. Days like today do not help but I will get through it. Baby steps again for me too Hon

I am sad for you with everything going on @Zoe7 .... but I also take comfort from your courage, strength and perseverence. Keep taking those baby steps Hon .... you and I will both “get there”, no matter where “there” is.

In my situation there is a perception circling us that my Mr. and I grew apart .... that we had chosen to live in a somewhat separated state for the last couple of years, which only the inside view of the chronic eating disordered behaviours could clarify, and of course they were, and still are, carefully masked out of view ..... but .... his health is still under investigation, and because this is the truth, it will eventually either surface or be found.

Either way, you are right in that this has created a break in our circumstances regardless, and the tides are carrying us off in different directions.

You and those closest to you know the truth @Faith-and-Hope and whilst I know you would never want Mr to suffer in this also it is he who has chosen the path he is on - whether he gets help or not is now up to him and hopefully it does not take a major health crisis for him to see that himself also. ...but none of that is your concern now Hon - it is about you and your bds finding your own path forward and finding your soft place to land. The tides may have taken you in different directions but very much hoping that when you emerge from the water you are in a much happier, sun-filled place - you deserve nothing less Hon

I am seeking help to sort out things that I can’t by myself @Zoe7 . It’s actually not as “clean” as the kids and I moving forward our own way, and I don’t know where the boundaries lie.

So much to juggle in a short space of time. The decisions in question need to be made now, and it’s also now-time with the uni stuff.

Taking the small, steady steps is the only thing I can do.

Sending all my love @Faith-and-Hope and @Zoe7 . Thinking of you both a lot of the time. xoxo

Good morning @Faith-and-Hope and Zoe7 .... just letting you know I am thinking of you both, and sending you my best wishes for recovery, contentment and future happiness.

Sherry 💕

💜🌷 @Former-Member ..... thinking very much of you too ....,