Hi @Former-Member ... 😘💕
While the MIL is complicated, she's not the real problem .... she was a real problem years ago, but we got that sorted ....
Life my Dad was along with us and I was spending all my time with him, it would suit WH down to the ground at the moment .... his eating disorder behaviour is what takes up most of his time and energy, and it is what creates the distance. Without MIL here, he would still be ditching the kids and me for his exercise and diet patterns .... directing our day according to what fits with gym, jog, eating routines ....
Suits MIL to fit herself in with that mostly, but it is upsetting her a bit as well, not that she will let on. She also needs looking after, so if she is travelling along with his program, she is also taking the brunt of his mood swings, along with providing an excuse for him to bale on our activities is they don't interest him or conflict with The Regimen. Not having her here wouldn't change that .... he would just be feeling guiltier about he is doing or not doing, and it would just make him more uptight and grumpy ....
Think of MIL as a mood stabiliser for him. She's in the relationship in a way she shouldn't be, but it's the eating disorder that caused that .... it's caused warped thinking, a self-centred self-serving outlook (that's what an e.d. does to keep feeding itself, keep itself as lthe "host's" highest priority .... like an alien creature that has taken over his mind ....
We are living and travelling with him in this alien state .... like this he is not my husband and I can't reach him ... with or without MIL or anyone else .... he needs treatment first to bring him out of that world and back into this one ....
Thank you so much for all you care @Former-Member .... 💜💐 ... walking with me while I'm walking with him ....
Hi @Shaz51 ...🌷💕
