I have woken to the sound of kookaburras this morning ..... I haven't heard that for so long, and hadn't realised just how much I missed it ...... 😔 ..... so bittersweet. I have things like this, along with my kids, for just a little while before I have to leave again. They are outside my window now, and very loud !! There are at least 2, maybe 3, but I can't see where they are.
I drive by the river when I can, but haven't seen the dolphins yet. Especially with the lockdown, and a set of family occasions, and my studies, I feel like my feet have hardly touched the ground, but in the middle of all of this an idea for a major artwork is growing ...... and I am hoping to try for a grant to achieve it ..... both scary and exciting.
Ex is continuing to withhold all finance, and be abrasive about it, slinging off and taunting, one minute about that, the next about D2 and threats to have her removed from my care ..... empty threats because his choices in our case so far border on the ridiculous ..... so J am doing my best to crowd them out by focusing on what I can do, not on what I can't control.
I am missing Nelly, and missing my classes - the introduction of new work and the approaches, which I am having to piece together from the online info in our course structures, but that's what it is, and part of what ex wanted to achieve, so I am not going to let him win. I know it is all doable if I just take the baby steps. And I am grateful that there are a set of people who live Nelly taking care of her.
I am sorry I am quiet here at the moment. I am listening along, and holding you close in my heart ..... sitting with you, and what is happening for you matters to me as much as ever ..... but this steeper climb was always going to happen, and my energy is very low ...... low but not out. I am floating to regain my strength ......
It was my mother's birthday a couple of days ago, and Mothers Day today ..... and I feel like I haven't stopped to "find her" yet .... it has all been about the baby, and my kids' occasions, and my work, and the lockdown, and family and friends I haven't seen yet .... and a big occasion we are preparing for just before I head back.
I hope you all mange a gentle day today .... the kids have a busy morning planned for me, which is why I am here so early, and trying to share a bit of what is on my heart ...... but I will be back later.
@Zoe7 I hope you have slept better Honny, and that those furbabies are giving you lots of healing cuddles and some great chuckle-times ❣️ I am hearing you, and looking for you every time I am here. I hope you feel the ABs kick in today, and can manage a little of the work you want to do ..... but please continue to prioritise your health above all others. You are so precious, and it is hard to know you are struggling. I wish I could be there with my special pumpkin soup and some home-made bread ..... sending you some virtually .....
Hugs n hugs Hon .... 🦋🥖🫕🥗💞🐾💤
@Snowie ..... gently gently Hon. Try to consider your mother from the perspective of an annoying bank clerk , or someone like that with foot-in-mouth disease and low emotional intelligence ..... and look after yourself today. This day is for you and your children. You honour her enough, in my opinion, by having her share your home when she doesn't mind her manners with you very much at all ..... not making light of the real issues that she refuses to commit to (some people are like that) but in my opinion she doesn't deserve more of your attention than a polite acknowkedgement that she is present with you today. Hug your kids, and Izzy, and I hope being with H overwrites your time with your mother with some special you time ......
Hi to everyone else around ..... 👋☕️💕
Fur babies have had their night biscuits and time for us all to snuggle.
