Far and Away

Thank goodness for little Nelly cat 💕

I have been doing the same as S2 @Faith-and-Hope - slept on and off all day. I cannot shake this conitnual tired feeling - don't know if it is depression, chronic fatigue or indeed sleep apnea causing it. It quite well be a combination of all three but until I hear from the sleep apnea clinic we can't rule anything out.

I do hope you get some of your work done and also have some quality time with S2 when he is up. How is he coping on his own without D3 being there with him?

Also hoping D2 is back in time for the grand final and you can both watch it together. So frustrating not having a set time but then we know that s2bx does what he likes and does not think of anyone else - just hope D2 does not suffer as a consequence

👋💕 @Emelia8 @Former-Member

Worse than that @Zoe7, he is deliberately vindictive and will do a) what suits him and b) what will cause me the greatest inconvenience or grief that doesn't interfere with his own plans for himself. Being that sort of a/h is his problem. Mine is going around the inconveniences he will continue to cause, for life .....

Hope you're feeling better for your sleep. S2 hasn't emerged yet.

That is what angers me the most @Faith-and-Hope He wants whatever he wants but will not let you live your life - that takes a special kind of a/h You deserve so much more than having to work around Him and what he wants. You have had to uplift your whole life, leave your own family and friends for what is now quite apparent His needs - and the baby dragons have been used as an excuse to have that - and they too are suffering ...some kind of father he has turned out to be - whether that is his illness or not it is not right. Thank goodness your baby dragons also have you as an example to follow

I think it will eventually show up as a pattern of destruction and failed relationships in his wake @Zoe7, but unfortunately that can take a number of years yet ...... 😔

Meantime he will keep the mask in place for our kids, making me appear to be the vindictive one trying to hold him back from moving on ......

Oh Hon I wish we had that magic wand for this all to be over for you Your kids will eventually see it for what it really is but having to sit back and watch it all unfold and not being able to tell them exactly what he is really like is horrible. They love you though and he will eventually show what he is really like @Faith-and-Hope

My father was similar in the way he was at home and the way he was to everyone else. We copped the full brunt of his anger but to everyone else he was the loving father and husband who was super proud of his kids ....we were never told that directly or shown any of that love - it was only through others that we knew that which made it doubly sad as they never knew what we had to endure at home. It wasn't until I was in my early 20s that it became visible to others - because I stood up against him when one of his friends was there ...I copped it big time but he never hit me again - and his friend helped him to stop drinking which made the world of difference.

s2bx will eventually come unstuck too because he cannot continue with that mask to everyone - and you have said it is already slipping with some around him - your kids may not see it now but they will ...not ideal for you right now but they have to find their own way as well and will then know that you have always been there for them and always loved and supported them - so keep up your strength we know you have Hon, do the things that you can for you all and the cards will eventually fall where they fall - trust in your own values and morals and that you have also passed them onto your kids - it will matter

Thank you @Zoe7 @Former-Member .... it really helps to learn from each other's journeys, which is why the forums are here.

I believe he will fall over, but it will take time, and it is so hard to see him seeming to get away with his lies and deceit in the meantime, which is why it is so important to keep distracting myself with everything and everyone else - not giving him centre stage in my life.

I have to re-commit every day to my faith, hope and integrity, and not let this blow me off-course. It matters now more than ever. One of his methods is to wear down his opposition.

I hope you are both resting up this afternoon. I am working on part of an assignment, then I am going to take a break.