Far and Away

Oh yes @Zoe7 .... I am so sorry ..... I noted that it was your pop's anniversary, but then became distracted here, and didn't acknowledge it to you ...... sending belated hugs now Hon ...... 💜🌷💜🌷💜

It is really okay @Faith-and-Hope I was trying to keep it low key anyway - especially as there are so many people suffering or having an exceptionally hard time at present. I also was worried about you and that was more important to me Anniversaries come and go - just hard in the moment but I can acknowledge that and can work through it - and even though you might not know it - you help e by just being here and being you

😏 @Zoe7 .... thanks ❣️

I am ready to tell you what happened a couple of days ago .... WH's family have embraced this new relationship .... which means they have also accepted everything else about what he has done, and they are totally enabling his illness.

It's humiliating in this moment, but you know what ? I pretty quickly decided that it doesn't matter, because they don't matter. They have just confirmed how much I want to leave them all waaaaay behind me.

FFS @Faith-and-Hope You definitely are so much better off without any of them in your life. I can see why you were so upset and so angry. It not only enables his behaviour but undermines everything you had for all these years. You SIL has treated you with so much contempt in addressing the presents that way - and I do not believe for one instance that it was not done deliberstely - especially in knowing what MIL nd WH are like. Trying to cover it up is just her backtracking because the courier came to you ...and you are right - sending them gifts is unbelievable nd further makes you wonder just how long this has been going on for!!!!

If there is an upside here though it is that you cn now wash your hands of all of them - if there was any doubt left in your mind as to where they all stand it has been confirmed by this. They do not matter Hon - you deserve so much better and now you can move forward in the knowledge that they can be left right where they should be left ...way behind you. Focus now on your own family, your kids, your own life and your own happiness - find yourself again because the best revenge is for you to thrive without them

@Zoe7 .... the nastiness will continue if I continue to stay close by until I move away .... that is the intent ..... WH isn't alone in being invalidating, it's just that he didn't used to be this way in front of me ..... but like I said before, it all lines up with NPD perfectly.

It's so hard when there are kids involved.

That does make it harder @Faith-and-Hope and not fair on the kids (any of them) in all of this. It is certainly not easy to have that complete break with godchildren involved Hon

There is comfort in knowing that when all of this becomes public knowledge amongst our community they won't be able to change what they have done, and it will show up for what it is. They are embarrassing themselves in the longer run.

@Zoe7

That will hapen eventually @Faith-and-Hope but does not ease the pain and hurt for you right now. I hope that day comes very quickly for you Hon and it will be your values and morals that shine through

It would be very different if we had simply drifted apart, found our ideas had changed and we wanted different things in life ..... but this is not that, and WH is not co-operating with the proper separation processes. This is vindictive and nasty, and designed to either keep me stuck, or force me out on my own and away from my own kids, who are stuck too.

@Zoe7

...and he is so selfish and self-absorbed that he does not realise he is in-fact hurting both you and the kids in the process. His control is more important to him than the kids and that will all come out in the wash too Hon - in holding on so tight he is risking losing them too but he is not capable of seeing that nor the imoact all this is having on their lives. Whilst what he is doing to you is open and more obvious @Faith-and-Hope what he is doing to the kids is masked as love and that can be an even more hurtful type of abuse.