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I thought I'd start a discussion where we can check in with members and use this space to keep in contact. It's a space to be able to say how you really feel and it's a space for the good, the bad and the ugly moments in our lives.
In response to: Just checking in.
TeejSenior Contributor
Would love to share stuff but can’t here @CheerBear . I’m sorry you’ve been sleep deprived....AGAIN ☹️.
I came out of hospital yesterday. I was in theatre two hours so expected to be a bit of a mess but I was home by 2:30 yesterday. So my hairy teethy thing is out. They cleared out some endometriosis I didn’t know I had. Hopefully my two remaining below girls bits do what they need to and stay healthy now.
How is unwell one and well one? I think I read there was something happening there.
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
TeejSenior Contributor
@CheerBear PS I just realised then 🤦♀️ that can’t get pregnant - no Fallopian tubes. I still have one ovary and a supposedly ok uterus so I didn’t think about it until then (not that getting pregnant was on my list of things to do before 60). It’s kind of a weird moment though.
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
CheerBearSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
TeejSenior Contributor
I’m sorry I forgot @CheerBear . I do remember the sporting event that is a triggering time. I know they will get easier but it’s a slow :pile_of_poo:ty process.
Im sorry that things are at the critical stage now for you. As much as life sucks now, things will be better next year (I hope). I know your time will come to shine again 💜🤗💜🤗
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
MaggieSenior Contributor
@Teej 💜💜💜💛💛💛
In response to: Just checking in.
outlanderSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
CheerBearSenior Contributor
I'm checking in as today is a tricky one. Today it is three years ago since it was the last day I spent in our 'old' life. It was the last day we were part of our community, the last day we had good friends to call on, the last day I thought I might finally finish my degree and the last day we spent at our home which was a place I had created on my own for my little family that until then felt safe. This day three years ago I knew something was very not OK and I was preparing myself for something big to happen but I had no idea that it would be as big and serious and life changing as it was. I didn't know everything was about to be shattered or that life as I knew it would end tomorrow.
I feel sad today. As much as my thinking brain knows it's not happening again, my feeling brain is stuck back there this morning. It's full of memories, sadness and anger. I fought so hard to try and have things not be the way they turned out but there was nothing I could do to stop it. It was out of my control. I find that one of the hardest bits to sit with.
I know things are getting better. It's taken a while but now I know and feel that we are safer for having been through this. I don't feel as hopeless or destroyed by it anymore and it doesn't have the same impact on me as it did for a long time. More days than not I can see so the good and am proud of how hard I fought and how much work I've done since it happened. I don't hate the way I've changed through this like I did for a while and I have more hope now.
This date has been bubbling away for a little while and has added to what has been a tricky couple of weeks, which I expected it might. It will pass as it always does, but today I feel angry and hurt and sad. I wanted to share what today means to me because there's so much going on in the present for the people in my life that there's not much space for my past stuff in that. I'm also sharing because for a good chunk of these three years I've been riding this out here on the forum. I came here so scared and so lost and so incredibly alone feeling like nowhere was safe. The forum changed that for me and I'm super thankful I landed here when everywhere else was a huge mess. It's definitely something good that came from so, so much not good.
There's my vent for today. Thanks for listening if you did.
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
Gazza75Senior Contributor
@CheerBear 
:)
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
Zoe7Senior Contributor
@CheerBear You have come so far since in these 3 years Hon. It has been a really long road but your strength and persistence in so many areas has shone through. You have rebuilt your life for both you and your LF and it never ceases to amaze me just how much courage and strength you do have to both get through the really tricky times as well as rebuild your life around you. You have also continued to build up your own self confidence as well as step out of your comfort zone to help others. You have inspired us with your volunteering roles and the time and effort you have put into doing those things. None of that was easy as you had to also navigate your own insecurities to put yourself out there to do those things.
You have also had to navigate some extremely tricky stuff with your LF, yourself and family - and all that you have done with grace, dignity and inner strength. You are someone here that I look up to, admire and respect and that is all because of the person you are and the very open way you share and work through things for yourself.
Whilst you cannot change what has happened - you can look back over these last 3 years with pride as where you were then and where you are now are poles apart - and all that you have done yourself. Recognise how much you have achieved, how resilient you have been in providing a stable environment for your LF and above all the continued care, support and compassion you have for others in your many roles you have undertaken. That to me shows your true self and despite adversity along the way you continue to pick yourself up and continue to move forward - all whilst helping others and volunteering for several roles. You are an inspiration Hon and it has been an absolute pleasure to walk this journey with you
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
TeejSenior Contributor
You have done a remarkable job to get to this day and feel it all but know it will pass @CheerBear. Others find it hard to know why these anniversaries affect us year after year. We are the only ones with the damage and chaos created from someone which was out our control (but still we tell ourselves we should have known or did things differently years after the event).
I kind of said a glib comment the other day and regretted it afterwards. It’s ok to be in your nest today and share with those who get it and feel the feels you need to. Grief and trauma will always need some gentleness and kindness and being able to be in a nest until it’s passed. I hope with each year that passes it is a little less intense but I imagine those dates of anniversaries will stay with us for a long time and while they do it’s ok to not be ok on these days. This is for today
My DDay anniversaries are always filled with guilt and shame and should haves. They are when i remember my friends that were his victims that have not got justice as well. I’m sure yours are very different but you will have specific memories that come with today. My hope is that become a bit foggy over time for you.
when you have sat with all these very painful, angry, hurt feelings and they have passed I suggest you get a giggle at theses and use them as girl power motivation.
(it may not pass moderation though, so sorry if anyone is offended) They are meant to be a way of rising up again.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
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