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Unknown userMember
I thought I'd start a discussion where we can check in with members and use this space to keep in contact. It's a space to be able to say how you really feel and it's a space for the good, the bad and the ugly moments in our lives.
In response to: Just checking in.
TeejSenior Contributor
You didn’t come across as anything but supportive and appreciative @Faith-and-Hope. I however was in a very strange mood. I froze responding to anything. I didn’t get out yesterday. I was just a blob of grumble trying not to be a blob of grumble. Sometimes I just freeze and can’t respond or do anything but ride it out. I took sleeping meds last night and it has made a huge difference this morning. Everything you wrote in post one and two was absolutely fine. I didn’t react badly at all, just the cat had my tongue :face_with_rolling_eyes:😳
@CheerBear Concerned for you. Is everything ok?
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
💜💐 @Teej .....
How are you doing @CheerBear ?
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
CheerBearSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
TeejSenior Contributor
@CheerBear I’m not getting many notifications. This one didn’t come up.
im so sorry that things are so sad and tough and unknown now. It must be quite confronting at times. I can understand how telling fish would be hard but I have 100% faith that you’ll do it well.
As for the 'you' in all this. I’m thinking you may be the big in your family. Maybe you could have a meeting with sibs to work through a shared approach to help support well one as I expect that is playing on your mind, I think it would mine. If you can share that support around for both it might help you do the you things that are so important. This is the practical idealistic teej who if was wearing your shoes would look and feel like scrambled eggs 😳......but being removed a bit wants you to be able to achieve some of your goals and find ways of doing so. I will go through this at some stage too, and after being close to an in-law that I was there supporting the well one through the unwell ones last breath. I visited unwell one in palliative care a bit. It was a beautiful place with beautiful people working there. I hope this is not too heavy or bringing on the sads for you.
I can can easily divert too to something a little less intense......Although having said that I’m wound about as tight as I can be hormonally and feeling ripped off. You should hear the swear words in my head going off. Not sure if you ever got into the IT crowd but I’m feeling just like the depiction of aunt Irma :angry_face_with_horns:🔥. 😜
hugs 💜🤗
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
@CheerBear wrote:
I'm also feeling pulled between people and things. I feel stressed trying to work out how I'm going to manage being there for people while trying to do the things I want to do (like this school gig and hopefully the volunteering gig) that will help me get back on track, while also not wearing myself out. It's such a tricky balance at the best of times 😏
Hi @CheerBear
Just want to say that this is actually the path of the carer. The more intense the caring role, the more you need personal time with distracting me-stuff, like what you have listed for yourself. Kept in a degree of balance (?!), the one helps to counter-weigh the other and keep you more stable in the carer role. Many carers learn this the hard way, because it seems selfish somehow to be doing things for yourself, but think of it as coming up for air .....
The flip side is that the one/s you are caring for are not left feeling guilty for taking up your whole life with caring for them, because you’re not ..... and they gain pleasure from seeing you succeed with personal goals despite the hardships involved dealing with their world.
This might be a good starting point for convos with fish .... the fact that unwell one will need to gain joy from seeing them doing fish stuff and not getting too sad about precious twilight moments and events .... and that is as important as the walking along with .....
💜💜💜💐💕
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
CheerBearSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Just adding in my love and support for you @CheerBear You are doing the best you can with all that you are dealing with and that is enough Hon. ...and as has already been said - you need to continue to live your own life as that is where those brighter moments come for all in your life and it also distracts you from the grief you are feeling at least in the short term. 
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
CheerBearSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
Zoe7Senior Contributor
I am @CheerBear Currently watching tv snuggle in the doona with Toby. I can see the day will quickly get away from me but I am okay with that. The last 2 days were pretty full on so the rest is good for me.There is nothing that I cannot leave until later but I will try to get to giving Toby a hair cut later and then a bath. I can't leave that too late though because it will get too cold for him to dry.
I read about you with the bean bags and cats - that sounded so cosy. Toby has a bean bag that he usually ends up in during the night but will the colder weather he is staying snuggled on the pillow on the bed for longer. Gotta love our fur babies
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
I think it does become easier with time and practice @CheerBear. It can take a while to learn to set a place at the table for ourselves as well as everybody else, but it’s also something that is important for the kids to learn too, so modelling it from now, and talking about the principles loosely and gently will build it in to their skill base. This in turn will help them to be good carers for you as they grow up and life changes living forward ..... not in terms of illness and injury, but not abandoning the nest so completely when it’s time for that, that they are still in your life as grown-up fish.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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