Just checking in.

Good morning, @CheerBear.

I sometimes find the sound of rain nurturing, @CheerBear. Glad to hear the birds are enjoying it too.

I'm going fine this morning. Just tired as I have been getting little sleep at night lately. Making up for some of it during the day, which is probably what I'll do today too. Still recovering from Friday's big outing.

How about you?

I find rain sometimes brings emotional release with it, @CheerBear. Sounds like you are sitting okay with your feelings, and have a good attitude to them. I'm not aware of what the effects of the medication might be, as there was no such option in my past experience.

I had a couple of extra hours sleep in the afternoon yesterday, which brought the overall tally up to about five or six hours, I'm guessing, maybe less. I'm losing track of it all a bit at this point. I'm aware I'm a bit hyper on the inside, especially about things with my videos (there's a bunch of other exciting things happening now too that I haven't mentioned).

The sleep deprivation is probably a bit of bipolar hypomania, though it's not extremely full on. For one thing, my body at this age tends to succumb to exhaustion much more in response to higher nervous energy in me. Still, it's a contrast to how I was not that long ago, sleeping a great deal every day. Keeping an eye on it and trying to bring it towards balance as much as I can, but overall just viewing it as part of my general tendency to swing one way or the other pretty easily. I think I get (over) stimulated by experiences much more easily than the average joe or josephine.

It would be lovely to hear the sounds in your sky. Your words give me some idea of it though.

@CheerBear, these days, and at this age, and with the medications, therapy and support, as well as a lifetime of experience of having this condition, I feel that my level of instability is mostly livable and not too extreme, though never really a balanced way of life either.

I'm at a point now where I don't want to be too controlling or worried about my own experience, though I am very conscious of how I'm rolling with things day to day. I probably am fairly controlled in a way, at least when compared with how I was when I was younger and wasn't aware I had this mental illness. Then, I would feed the flames either way, diving headlong into whatever was happening and consequently experiencing things in a much more intense and unbalanced way. At the moment, I'm thinking that I mainly need to roll with the strong tides I experience as much as I can. For me this means being open to the enjoyment of times of energy and excitement like this, while staying as relaxed as I can and avoiding letting it run away like wildfire. As you say, having a bit of excitement is in a way a better option than the extreme lack of energy and motivation I experience at other times. Trying not to judge too much either way, I guess. Acceptance and moderation as much as possible, even when moderation seems more out of reach for me than for some other people.

I hope you will find your way back to the crochet soon, as it seems to be a balancing activity for you too, as well as creative and uplifting. You are also so good at it, and always getting better, it seems to me! I imagine the sense of satisfaction in achieving your craft projects is great.

Glad to hear you have a quiet day today. Seems like you could use a restful day just now.

An indoors day here for me probably with our friend, the aircon unit. It's forecast 32 degrees today and we are in that humid time of year. That might not be so bad for most others, but I am getting so easily overheated these days (partly a side effect of one of the psych meds, I think). There's a corner of the kitchen that's slightly warmer than the rest of the flat. When I go in there, even just for a minute or two, I often start breaking into a sweat! Aside from keeping myself cool, I'll probably be doing quite a bit on the computer today relating to the video stuff. Also want to ring Mum again.