Just checking in.

Lights out for me in an instant last night @Teej. When I unlocked my phone I saw an unsent reply to you that that my face was typing 😆

Big hugs for you for today. I remember our big bang anniversaries aren't far apart because last year I'd started flipping out about now and you were here showing me that we can get through tough dates.

I hope today is OK for you. I think you're really brave to be going when it has big reminders. Glad friend is on alert too and I hope that helps. I don't know about drama queen, though I do get how it can feel like we're being drama queen-ish. Your dday has lots of tangled and jumbled memories from what I understand. I think it's pretty understandable that tangled jumbled heads will drive lots of tangled jumbled thoughts and feelings.

The calendar is telling me winter is over now and today is the start of spring so I am sending you some spring cheer this morning.

My cheer isn't so cheery and my sads are trying to sink in, but the pretty flowers and gardens around are bringing me a smile.

With you today, thinking of you ❤

Thanks @CheerBear. I can’t reply much just yet as I’m trying to get my human on a do a few jobs. I basically haven’t left my bed for the past three days. I had a big flip out last night but managed to get through safely - without self medicating. I’m so sorry I dumped that on you last night. I felt so alone with my head spinning. I saw you found my last post last night. At some point there is some of that I want to expand on. I think this morning I’ve worked out better what I can share and what I can’t better. There are a few people on the forum who know my story and I feel bad that I haven’t shared it again. It’s complex, really, really complex and hard to share for so many reasons. I know that there is no pressure to share but I’ve been thinking about Brené Brown and her antidote to shame. The psychologist that has been doing the assessment worked out that much of my issues come from not working through the trauma stuff properly. I think I did at the time but now different parts of it have been resurfacing. Last think of me not saying much 😳 and going in circles is that every anniversary different things seemed to have taken centre stage. I’m not sure if that’s the complexity of my stuff or if it’s just the way it is for everyone.

@Faith-and-Hope I tried to tag you last night but failed and gave up. Sometimes your name just won’t tag if it’s not on the drop down list. I went searching for you but couldn’t reach out at that time because I couldn’t work out how to do it 😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:. Needless to say my brain was pretty fried.

There is so so much going on in my head. 😬

No problem @Teej ..... 💜💐

Its good to see / hear you this morning, and I understand ......

I did pick an awkward name re the forum mechanics .... lol .....

hello @Faith-and-Hope, @Teej, @CheerBear, @outlander, @Bimby2

yes winter is gone , it is 30 degrees here today

My uncle is turning 70 we I am organising a birthday morning tea on sunday

today went food shopping for mum and us

Good morning @Shaz51 and hope your day goes well, my friend. All the very best to you and yours. Bimby2

thank you @Bimby2, I hope you are having a good day xxx

Hello @outlander, @Faith-and-Hope, @Teej, @CheerBear

Just checking in. I’m going to lay a bit low on the forum just now. I think it will mostly be acknowledging achievements for now. I have got myself in knots over stuff lately and I don’t want to be that person anymore. I will maybe write the rest of what I’d planned to on the recovery thread but for now I’m just sooooooooo tired, motionless tired.

@CheerBear I know things are really obviously not great for you. Thinking of you. Thanks for the reminder of spring things. Daffodils are my fave flower (oh and cherry blossom 🌸) I have my first spring blossom on my new tree (planted last summer). They are not very specky but are telling me spring is coming. Hoping you are getting outside and having those few moments of serenity.

💜🤗