Just checking in.

@Faith-and-Hope@TAB@Former-Member@PeppiPatty@Shaz51@utopia@Decadian@Former-Member@Former-Member@Former-Member@BlueBay@Former-Member@Appleblossom

Hi @Former-Member I'm ok xxx

Needed to step away for a while to try and get myself sorted and have some distance from both triggers and over relience on filling time online. I do want to get back to work and feel spending so much time on the forum will adversely affect my ability to do the day to day routine things that will help me in getting back to work.

I know I'm not quite ready just atm to return to work full-time but am working towards part-time and building up from there.

Sleep and nightmares are still a major issue - but have been for a long time - so I don't have any expectations that this will be resolved quickly.

I am starting to have less 'down' days and have been motivated enough on some days to achieve small things (baby steps for now!)

Over the last week I have been through a range of emotions - which is a good thing as before I was more or less just numb to feelings. I have cried a lot and I see this as a good thing as before this I hadn't cried for years! I have generally cried because I am SAD and not because I am depressed and overwhelmed. So I see that as a real positive.

I haven't forgot my 'forum family' and I have been thinking of everyone, but for me moving forward - it is difficult to be connected so closely on here and not be consumed by my own struggles and thoughts when I am. I am not very good at asking for help myself and feel much more worthwhile when I can support others. But this often comes at the cost of me not helping myself. Taking a step away has helped to alleviate some of the triggers and allowed me some time and space to work out what I want moving forward without putting pressure on myself to be able to support others on the forum. This pressure is solely what I place on myself and by no means from anyone or anywhere else.

I sincerely hope everyone is continuing to find the support, help and encouragement that makes this forum such a special place. Even though I may not be around much I still think about everyone and hope that each day brings with it some light and some hope.

To everyone in my 'forum family' - stay strong, stay safe, stay connected and keep being who you are - an amazing and wonderful group of compassionate people.

yes @Zoe7 it can be a 'double edged sword' being on here, yes there is a lot of good, and distractions/talking with others can be really helpful, it's a balance I guess re 'real world' and being on here re allocation of time. Hope the tshirt business works out

Hi @Zoe7

Thanks so much for checking in. I was really quite worried about you.

I'm glad you are crying again. I go through phases of not crying and I'm much more on edge for not doing so.

I hope your transition to work goes well. I'm sure you'll have lots to offer those kids after a break even if for the difficult reasons you've had and lots more insight too. I hope you can come back on the forum from time to time to check in and let us know how you are going. I have struggled and still do with it for the same reasons often but for now it mostly is a plus rather than a minus so I'll stay. I'm still trying to find how I do it better than I do.

I wish you the very best for the coming year. Sending loads of good luck hugs 💜🤗💐

Hi @Zoe7

It seems as if you are gradually getting things organised and you are moving forward and this is a good thing

About triggers - I have thought about them and I think there is really no way to completely avoid them so we have to work out a way to deal with them - and maybe that can be hard in the workplace - and also - what you feel is an over-reliance on the internet to fill in time - can actually be replaced by work -

It's a nautural human instinct to want to fill in time with something we feel is worthwhile - and working out the value of any activity is unique to ourselves - but you seem to be giving a lot of thought to the process

Keep moving forward - and thanks for letting us know your plans - you are a useful member here but there comes a time when we have to move forward and you seem to have reached this place

All the best

Dec

Dear @Zoe7

Ive been reading your message a couple of times....

You write that you want to step away.....thats really nice that you write to us first and let us know.

Maybe you just needed to feel heard and feel that you can be alone and cry and walk to people honestly for a mnth or so.

The things that I have gotten from Sane Forums are maybe different than you beause I have a different life I remember when you began which was just before Christmas ?

You write that this is what you get:

Less down days.

More motivated.

cried and am SAD.

met amazing compassionate people.

thats good that you can see this. I've met people here who cannit see what they get from writing and letting things out. Who cannot see where they are going, and this is ok too.

I dont know how many times, I've written ok, this is it, I'm having a break and 1/2 later, I've been writing to @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Appleblossom @TAWNEY @lisajane

But I only go on some messages and threads.

Thankyou for your beautiful message, I will miss the butterfly and you :0)

Hello Sis @Zoe7 xx

Thanks so much for checking in.

I was really quite worried about you. and have been thinking of you

say hello sometimes sis, we are here for you

Hello @Former-Member, @Decadian, @TAB, @PeppiPatty

hey @Shaz51 :0)

you going well ? How is your husband ? I dont have any jobs until Thursday and I usually go to friends places to help them clean their homes but I've been sleeping too much.........

My husband and I are getting the car fixed on Thursday.......life doesn't stop does it.......HEres some bickies for everyone......

yummy yummy......

Here some bickies for you @Darcy @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Former-Member @Zoe7 @TAB @Faith-and-Hope @Decadian @Bella2 @artee @Mazarita @Chris @Jacques @Janie

Love PP

thank you for the biscuits @PeppiPatty

yep life doesn't stop , always something going on