New and scared

Hey @Maud ,

I recognise how scary it is for you right now. It must be so hard to have to face this and not know what to do.

It sounds like it is a mental condition speaking, and not your husband. It's important he gets the professional help he needs. Is there any way you are able to get him to see a doctor?

Do you know the psychiatric triage number in your area? They will be able to give you advice if things get too much.

At the same time, please ensure your own safety and wellbeing.

He will not, at this point see a doctor and I’m reluctant to raise it again for a few days. As soon as I mentioned it before the response was rage and raised voice. I spoke with someone at behind blue this evening who shared a triage number with me but I haven’t called them because I assume they will expect to talk to him.

@Maud welcome...I'm sorry to hear of this awful situation you're in.

Can you post your post above on SANE's Friends, Family and Carers Forum ? That way you might get some advice from people who have been /are in your situation, hopefully... There is also a link at the top of the page here, under "Forums Community" and under "Forums Home" a bit further down the page too.

I feel for you...good luck 🤞

P.S. A handy forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply.

I will post in the friends and family forum. Thanks for the tip. Still trying to make I hate the site.

@Maud (speaking gently) what do you mean, you hate the site? This SANE site, do you mean? If you can explain, maybe I can help...

@Maud sounds as if your husband is striking a new path that is highly individualistic and not considerate of inter-relations. Its something you must resolve. ie him saying you did this and you did that vs your need to care and be in relationship. That thrown into the mix with delusional behaviour. I think he believes he is beyond reproach that everyone else does wrong etc except him. He is being driven to achieve something with his life which does not include you and has his mind set on an outcome which does not take your relationship into the equation. I believe it takes a lot to be self honest to recognise what we bring to a relationship in terms of how our actions impact on others. What is required is some soul searching on behalf of the both of you and to see yourselves as you really are. Its not easy to do to resolve this as it requires a lot of self honesty and being willing to face our own shadows. I've had to do this myself recently. Its easy to take the position of either being outraged by what others do or in denial about how we do things to others without wanting to see it for what it truly is

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04cWOynZwu4&t=3s

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate it and agree with a lot of what you say. However, at this point I am not dealing with a person who is having rational thoughts in my opinion. While he is in mental decline I cannot make him homeless or not support him unless he goes and stays with another family member. It’s a very difficult situation and not just a marriage breakdown .

Hey @Maud ,

I'm hearing you. It sounds like it is his mental health speaking, and not himself.

Do you know the psychiatric triage number for your area?

Unfortunately, unless he is in danger or putting others in danger, he can't really be admitted involuntarily.

Do you have private health insurance? Would he be willing to see a GP even to start with?

Unfortunately the mere mention of a GP is what set him on the path of calling me dangerous and evil. His friend tries a gentle conversation about it and he also erupted and began to have jumbled thoughts and scrambled words but also a lot of anger. There are have been moments when he makes a second hand reference to getting help so I think he knows he needs it. We just need to wait till he asks I guess.

I'm wondering if you can call the local hospital and see what they say.

Unfortunately, I don't think it works well to wait until he 'asks', because he may never ask, and by that time, he could have deteriorated.

Would you consider going to the GP yourself and asking the GP what you can do? @Maud