not feeling good

We're so happy to hear that you had a good night sleep @BlueBay, hope you have a good day at work. Do you get tomorrow off?

Hi @BlueBay

We are glad you got a good night's sleep last night - that will make a huge difference for you - we all need that good night's sleep

There is a light at the end of your tunnel - when things get bad for you remember this morning - for whatever reason your Mood Disorder straightens itself up and you are okay

It's a puzzle - I understand that - and you wonder what triggers you off - actually I am not sure but I think it stems from being in a house with 3 other adults who don't really seem to care about you and how you are feeling and don't understand your MI and this is rough.

One thing I would have trouble with is your youngest son's thump thump thump music - I was always studying back when my daughter wanted to play loud music - I told her quietly what she could play her loud music when I was out of the house or when I was doing housework but not when I had to study and she listened and mostly was really considerate

So I am saying that if what your family is doing that is concerning you then you need to tell them - eg if you have a headache or feel that you need to be alone which is a common way to feel btw - too much pressure

But you need to let them know - quietly - keeping it all bottled up inside is like a pressure cooker for you - and it builds and builds and is actually a form of self-harm -

Then they need to hear you so you have to say it and say it and say it -

You are holding all of your family members together at a great cost to yourself - I know you have trouble being assertive - I am still exhausted today form being assertive on Thursday - I feel totalled and have a stress headache that comes and goes - and I didn't sleep well - so I know it's not easy to speak up - even with your family - because everyone wants things there own way - and everyone needs to fit in their wants and needs with other people's wants and needs

The chances are good you will be empty-nesting in a few months - you will find this a totally different challenge

And you are half-way through your extra hours at work - when you have achieved this goal I really hope you can feel really good about yourself for chosing to do this and sticking to it - and I really hope you can go and buy yourself a few new clothes with the money you have earned - a bit of retail therapy can go such a long way

All the best BlueBay - and so glad you feel better today

Dec

so happy to hear that you had a good night sleep last night @BlueBay

Thankyou @Shaz51 @Ali11 @Owlunar for your support.

@Ali11 I do have tomorrow off. But I’ll have my granddaughter for the day. My daughter and her partner are going to the footy. I’m hoping she will sleep for a few hours so I can have a rest.

@Owlunar I do have a lot going on eith all these adults at home. I think once my daughter leaves then it’ll just be three of us. Then my son will look for wirk and he’ll possibly move out too. But I think by October after our holiday we will put our house fir sale. I really don’t want to but I feel pulled because of our financial stress. I don’t have a choice.

Yeah the music can be a bit much at times. But my son doesn’t put it on much now . And when I get a headache I do tell them to put tv down and music.

Thats the problem with open plan house.

I will buy myself a jumper or too early next week. I won’t spend too much but just something small to feel good.

We did our tax last night and getting back about $2000 between both of us. So that will pay off credit card snd I can put some towards our holiday.

We also have to get a flight to come back home so I’m hoping there will be a special soon.

Have got all kids here for dinner. My older son came over and will stsy fir dinner and maybe the night.

So uts a crazy house at the moment.

It would be nice to have some peace and quiet fir a change. But this won’t happen for a while.

Hi @MDT @Gazza75 👋

❤️❤️❤️

Hi @BlueBay

It seems as if you need peace and quiet more than anything - it's wonderful actually

And also to be able to make your own decisions - I like doing that - some days I just read or use my computer - other days I can be out all day - and I have shared with some of my contacts recently and they wish they could take off without their other half too -

Which - I must say - is great - I see couples travelling together and don't envy them - I love to make my decisions about when to go and where - thinking about it is a pleasure and I realised yesterday that it's nearly time to book my trip to Cairns. I like to sit in the front window seats - plenty of room for my long legs - and I have two windows to watch from -

I am amazed actually that I meet a lot of older ladies - of my age-group - travelling alone - we have to - if we waited for other people we would never go anywhere -

The time will come when you will have more freedom - if you are unhappy in your circumstances then perhaps Huffnpuff is too and just can't talk about it - it took me a long time before I realised that my ex-h was an unhappy, depressed person - very hard to live with - silent and never sharing his thoughts - had he done so things would have been different because his presence was a weight on the atmosphere and I really had no idea

There are things we can't change - we have to take it on board to change things about ourselves - you do have a choice about the house - one thing I didn't know until you mentioned it is the expense of a Body Corporate - someone is scoring out of that and it's not you - yes - you can get out of that -

But there are always choices - sometimes it's very hard to see them though -

Sending my best thoughts and hope A does sleep this afternoon so you can have some rest

Dec

Hi @Owlunar

our older son took us out fir a ciffee. We put A in our car fir the first time. She loved it. She behaved do well. But got tired towards the end do we left.

Home now snd A is in bed asleep. I knew she was getting tired cause she kept putting her head down on my shoulder.

Hopefully she’ll sleep fir about 1-2 hours.

I’m resting in my bed. Hubby washing cars. This is the longest amount of time my d has left a with us.

This afternoon we’ll take her to the park and beach to collect some mire shells. She loves shells.

I have to be careful because my back is sore again. I will try to not lift A. Which is hard when she wants me.

I’ll chst later.

Whst are you doing today? It’s actually nice and sunny. Xxxx

Hi everyone @Owlunar @Ali11 @Shaz51 @MDT @Gazza75 @Zoe7 @Former-Member

@Faith-and-Hope

can I ask you all a question?

my last session with my psychologist was about three weeks ago. I’m not seeing anyone now until September because my file had to be closed snd te-opened again. It’s too complicated.

But I was thinking ...... does this mean I’m doing ok on my own and can do it without a psychologist or am I holding it sll in waiting to see her sgsin. And doing this could explain why I’m so ratty lately. I’m not sure what to think.

My doctor told me that he thinks I’m improving and tbe fact that I can’t see someone till September means I’m coping. But if I am then why can’t I see it. Why do I see myself struggling.

Maybe it's a mixture of both, @BlueBay? You're doing well on your own, which is important because it shows you are stronger and being more independent. Also though, maybe you need those sessions to be able to explore what's happening in your life and how it's making you feel with the support of your psychologist. In the meantime you're just finding a good balance

@BlueBay Just because you have times of struggle does not mean that you aren't also improving. Part of finding a way forward is also recognising in ourselves that we do have good days/moments - often we concentrate on the negatives so much that we do not give ourselves credit for all the positives. Some of the positives for you lately have been working more and seeing your supports less. We also sometimes need to take abreak from the emotional turmoil that happens when we do see our supports as those sessions are often really difficult. Maybe that is a positive for you now too as I know how triggering those psych sessions can be for you. When we are constantly being triggered or sitting in that emotionally vulnerable place it can become overwhelming so I believe you having this break from all that is actually helping you gain some strength to go back to it all later. I have had to do that before several times for my own emotional health - it doesn't mean there are not things you still need to work on but having that break allows your mind (and body) to recover from the constant revisiting of trauma. We all need that break - and honestly I think it is not healing when it is a constant in our lives - especially when it takes days (or more) to overcome such session because that leaves no time for us to actually 'live'.