not feeling good

still wih you my sister @BlueBay , I am not leaving you xxxxx

Thsnkyou my beautiful sis @Shaz51

I think I’ll go and hide in my doona. Hopefully I can close my eyes and sleep.

Hi @Former-Member I tried lifeline crisis chst but was 8th in line. They’re too busy.

I’m going to go to bed hide away in bed. Hopefully I can sleep.

@BlueBay Don’t worry the stuff. Just do bit by bit,day after day, it will all come good again.

Hi @BlueBay

Please keep tagging me - I will continue to read your thread anyway - but it's always good to get a shout out - I like to know what's happening in your life

You can't see it but you are a champion - so much on your shoulders - and yes - I heard you - you wish Huffnpuff was a different kind of person - I guess life has worn away what was between you when you married and started your lives together - with your MIL and your kids being born in a hurry like that and all the other stuff and your mother - oh wow - when it's written down like that

Whenever I read about Huffnpuff it reminds me of how my marriage went soggy and flat because or finances and our inability to even listen to each other about it - okay - I was saving my money to leave but hey - I really hear you - I understand - it's a right (*******)

Anyway - I couldn't change my ex - and I tried hard enough but like Huffnpuff - my ex had selective deafness - and like anyway.......

I am not tired of reading what your write and it seems I have some buddies here - what would you do if your didn't write you magical on-line journal - so special othere people can chip in with their thoughts and support - (sigh)

It's hard enough having financial problems and worse when the other half only wants to crack it and is not supportive about your efforts

btw - I really blissfully went on with my life without knowing what a "mood disorder" is and finally looked it up - oh yeah - they told me I had that way back in the days of my torment - not true - I was grieving - I think the medical profession has too many MH labels and I think that can be confusing for the lay person - but what am I going on about?

Your short of cash and unsupported and need your husband to be a man and discuss it - enough of that - that's what you want though - and fair enough - that's a very valid thing to want

Sending hugs

Dec

morning my sister @BlueBay

Hi @Owlunar @Shaz51 @Meowmy @Ali11 @Former-Member @Gazza75

and others

I’m in my own little world today. Not really sure how to explain. I want to be left alone. I want to still disappear. I’m emotional very sensitive to comments from hubby. I’m not engaging in anything except on here.

Been on here gives me complete freedom and trust that I can write whatever I feel and want. I feel so open and honest in here. Here is the only place I sm ME. Nowhere snd no one else knows me like you guys. Nit even my friends the few I have. So Thankyou for allowing me to express my thoughts behaviours frustration snd when fragile and overwhelmed I know I’m ok on here.

If I write too much I’m sorry. I guess this is my diary daily. I can’t wtite it anywhere else.

@Shaz51 I’m nit sure how I am tiday. I was dizzy before and not sure if it’s my blood pressure.

@Owlunar I know you understand me totally. I wish I could hug you in real life as well as others on here. You have been here for me right from the start two years ago. And then we had a break apart for a while. Let’s not go there. When I stop and think this has been my life since I got married at 20.

- wanted to marry to get away from my mum

- took 5 yrs to fall pregnant

- had three kids under 5

- had hubby home for 5 years with arthritis

- his dad passed away suddenly while pregnant with 3rd child

- give birth to third child

- his mum moves in eith us a week a giving birth and then stayed fir 20 years

- memories of childhood abuse comes out after 40 years

- tell parents who then disown me fir 4 years. Reunited but then again turned away fir another 2 yrs

- now suffering complex ptsd, depression anxiety and BPD

- several hospital admissions

- put mil into nursing home with dementia

- hubby who has OCD undiagnosed and has no idea how to help me except say stupid negative comments

- diagnosed eith eating disorder

we took A fir a walk to the park before but I just didn’t want to tslk.

He wants to go and see his mum tomorrow so I don’t know what to do.

Guess I have to go.

@BlueBay Hey you worked very hard getting here. You have done great. May be not think about those stuff,just focus on things give you pleasure. I had my father, brother issues so long. Now my brother lives under Mum house, with me. I try not think about those hard times. Just try to live positive as much as possible.I think hubby and you genuinely care for each other. That’s something very special. Don’t walk away from that bond. He does care for you. Just his ways make you uncomfortable. Try to be happy. Sun shining, take care.

@BlueBayhugs my sister

be kind to yourself ,

@Shaz51 What are you doing today?

my mood has dropped do much.