not feeling good

@BlueBaymy sister , are you home now xx

forget them my darling xx

I know it is hard

hi @BlueBay sitting with you in your difficult time.

I have screamed hysterically into a pillow many times so the neighbours couldn't hear me. it's a bit better now that I'm on anti-psychotics, it helps me forget all the past trauma & abuse.

hope you feel safe soon.

hi @Shaz51 @MDT

morning my sister @BlueBay

@BlueBay - I hope your feeling a bit better about things now. It doesn't sound like your coworkers are being very kind or respectful to you, especially when you are a part timer. They definitely should be more considerate and try and include you more than they are.

I ate more than I shiould have last night too, I don't know why and I feel bad about it now. I didn't even have a bad day at work, it just seemed to drag out longer than usual. I think if you feel like crying and screaming then that's what you should do. It might be a relief to get it out of your system.

@BryanaCamp @Shaz51 Have a good day. Take good care. Things will come good.

Hi @Shaz51 @Gazza75 @BryanaCamp @MDT @Shaz51 @Meowmy @Owlunar @Former-Member @Razzle @Faith-and-Hope @oceangirl

@Ali11 @Former-Member

thankyiu everyone for the messages of support. Your kindness has made me cry. Why? Because I feel I don’t deserve the support.

I’ve been hurt so many times. I have been abandoned more than once.

I was going to stsy away and hide away but I can’t let you all down.

Ive had a really tough few weeks. Wednesday’s session was really hard. Painfully hard. I don’t know if I can do this anymore.

It just gets too painful and it’s exhausting. Physically and mentally.

Eating disorder is taking over when I’m emotional. I csnt handle this.

I thought earlier that my doctor I had years ago and had started me on anti dep told me thst I would only be on meds for a year. Yeah what a liar. Ten years later and I’m still in them.

Work was the same. But the good thing is the painful worker is away for 3 weeks.

I feel I’m lost in life. I never thought my life would turn out like this. But then again I never thought I would remember my childhood sexual abuse.

Thsts taken over everything.

So much snger hate snd frustration tears

I’m sorry for writing the same crap.

iverdhflmed and hurt

I feel used st work

Hi @BlueBay , your welcome for the little support that I have provided. You definitely deserve it in my opinion. I am glad your strong enough to visit with us here and keep us updated on how you are going. I know it can't be easy for you. I hope that you can get a bit of respite at work for the next few weeks and maybe you can talk to them about how you feel and get them to make some (small) changes.

I feel your handling everything well and should be proud of yourself. I don't think i'd be coping with anywhere near the grace and dignity that you have. I've only had one major crisis in my life and it nearly broke Me completely + I managed to screw up my parents pretty badly in the process. I'm so ashamed of myself for what I put them through. I can't change it now and theres nothing I can really do about it except try and be a better person.

I hope you can have a restful Friday evening and get some down time over the weekend. I won't be round for a few days, but, I'll have you in my thoughts and sending you my best wishes. Take care.

@BlueBay I know you have had a rough few weeks, on top of your tough session on Wednesday, and all the horrible memories you carry, you’re also getting slammed from all sides with work, huff and puff hubby, eating and just overall feeling shitty within. I get it, I feel like that too - a LOT.

I felt like I lost all trust with my councilor, I’m having to rebuild that relationship all over again, and getting that trust back is so hard. Things are terrible with my husband, even worse with what’s going on with our grandchild. It feels like you just get on top of one situation just to get slammed by everything else - and it is exhausting.

I understand the feeling of being lost too, I don’t know what I can do about my own situation at the moment, there’s no one to talk to, I’m completely out of my depth, but I do feel like I can jump on here and talk to you, I know you feel the same way as me most of the time and I feel far less lonely speaking to you.

Im glad you have at least 3 weeks off from that painful worker, that might help to make you feel better at work.

You do deserve support BB, you also offer a lot of support to others. Don’t stay away and hide, we’re all in this together ❤️❤️