not feeling good

Thankyou lovely @Faith-and-Hope

I’m sure I’ll be ok. ❤️

Not good that you had a bad night @BlueBay but hopefully seeing Ayla's little face will make you smile today. Goodluck with the party preparation

Hey @Zoe7@Faith-and-Hope@saturnzoon@Shaz51@Former-Member@utopia@outlander@Former-Member

snd others

party is over!!!

poor Ayla is teething. She was so cranky. Didn’t want photos didn’t want anyone to hold her except her Mum or me. I was trying to put food on trays while holding her on my hip. We managed some photos.

She looked absolutely beautiful. White long sleeve dress eith pink flowers around the waist and matching flower headband. With white tights and pink shoes. The skirt of the dress was like a tutu

Everyone had a good time. I helped clean up and changed Ayla into a tracksuit. She was so tired. Everyone left now and we’re home.

Im buggered my back is sore from standing snd holding Ayla.

Feeling really flat now. I could easily cry.

I have a few close friends who are all going away on holidays soon. It’s teally depressing. A friend who came today is going to Vietnam tomorrow for 10 days. How lucky are they. Snd I can’t even afford one night away. It’s depressing when you see all your close friends go away.

I don’t know where I went wrong this year. Every year we go away and this year is disaster. It’s really affecting me mentally.

I need to stop Facebook also. I’m sick of seeing all these people having a good time when I’m struggling and feel so sorry fir myself. Is that bad to feel like this.

I’m not cooking dinner tonight. They’re all waiting and saying “what’s for dinner”

well you know what - they can all get their own dinner. I’m completely stuffed and I’m having toast.

Its alright fir them they all slept in yesterday snd today and I had to be up early both days.

Sorry im whinging

HuGS @BlueBay

I get that a lot to @BlueBay with my older Adult kids, I've told them quite ofgen to make it themselves espicialky when one of them is my career.

Evening @Shaz51 @outlander and all who venture on here

@outlander

Ayla was beautiful tiday just grumpy.

Yeah I think this year we’ll stsy home snd msg just go fir drives.

Who knows my psych may even admit me into hospital.

I think I’m really hard on myself.

Thsnkd for the hugs @Shaz51

good luck with your appt tomorrow

Thankyou sis @BlueBay good night xx I am off to bed

Hello @BlueBay - so sorry it has taken me awhile to respond. I don't get on the forums much now as I am so busy but want you to know that I care for you and your welfare.

I read what your latest psychiatrist said about you suffering everyday hardships and the despair over your financial situation. In my life I have been from riches to rags from rags to riches and can relate to both. If I was given a choice of giving up my money now to regain my husband's health from cancer and for my daughter's safety I would give up all my money in a minute. It's hard to struggle financially but sometimes we overlook the good things we have - health, family, friends, love "which is priceless". Look at what you have. Don't compare your life with your friends but look at what you have, not what you haven't. People on Facebook can seem to be having great lives but all carry some burden or suffering.

If what your psych said about why you are feeling SI and depressed is correct - everyday hardships, I think counselling would be best for you. As meds correct a chemical imbalance and if that's not the cause of your depression etc I can't see how it will help. Do you think the hormonal imbalance menopause may be causing some depression? Something to discuss with your medical professionals.

I can relate to your struggle. I work for our local community centre (I am glad to see you took my advice and contacted them for food etc), where I see countless people who struggle to put food on the table after paying the mortgage or rent, people who are ill and cannot work and the homeless. I can tell you that you are not alone as the majority struggle with debt and finances to some degree and it's common unfortunately. And it's getting worse.

Can you rent a room in your house for additional income?

There are services that can help you get buy - but nothing can buy the love you have with your granddaughter and family. So many don't have this. Keep your focus on this and you will feel better.

The community centre can also help or refer to financial advisors who may be able to give sound advice that can help you save some dollars and keep afloat. Thinking of you xxx ❤️