not feeling good

Hi @Whiteknight

I tagged you here in my post because you know I’ve told you how my Mum is.

I need your advice pls. I wrote last Friday that Mum wants to come to my house on Thursday to ”tslk to me”. She has been nicer to me more caring. She told me terrible stuff about my brother. I can’t go into detail here. Anyway I’ve thought all along that she knows he abused me as a child. Just an inkling. Anyway I am so scared emotional overwhelmed and don’t know what the repercussions will be.

@Whiteknight I need some advice. I’m nit sure I can fully trust her after what she did to me. But part of me wants to tell her. But I’m so worried.

She may ask me - but there is something she needs to ask me snd dad isn’t coming she said she is only coming.

If she asks me snd I tell her sbd get a terrible reaction like last time I’ll end up in hospital.

Hi @BlueBay. It sounds as though you are dealing with some difficult things at the moment. I wonder what you can do to support yourself so that you are better able to cope with whatever is coming up for you at this time in your relationship with your mum? I hope that connecting with others on the forum is useful, maybe you might also like to visit some of the forum's more social spaces tonight. Take care Bluebay.

Thanks @Former-Member

I’ts really hard to socialise at the moment

Hi @BlueBay

Well thankyou for putting confidence in me. These sorts of challenging issues with loved ones isnt easy to face. Also your fragility with easy possibility of returning to hospital is your most senior priority...your own health. Loved ones, as much as they might love us, often dont know or havent got the ability to understand.

Mental illness aside, I've always had the belief that a person should be given the chance to talk and I'll listen. I dont need to comment quickly into the conversation, just sit back and take it all in...if asked eg "what do you think" , I often just say "I'm listening to what you have to say and I'll need time to digest it".

This reserved approach is a wise approach to what could be an alarming visit. I would, considering your past issues with your mum, be ready to answer her in a way that makes her accountable. Short, direct answers, firm but not provocative, a few words, not a lecture.

I hope that helps BB. Remember- how the visit goes depends on your own approach to it, not what she says.

WK

Thankyou so much @Whiteknight for your reply. I knew you would understand. I need a plan in my head of what I will say to her if she asks me that question.

The only difference here this time is that it’s st my house and nit hers.

She has always had hidden agendas so I won’t know until Thursday what she wants to talk to me about.

Your suggestion are really good and I will take it on board. Thanks.

@Whiteknight I appreciate your input in this and I know you understand the situation I’m in with my Mum and how fragile this is for me. I’ll let you know how it goes.

BB xx

Nit doing well

very anxious

scared

overwhelmed

too much to deal with

..... @BlueBay

Have emailed you 🙂

@NiteKat

Never received email.

It diesnt matter now

no point saying you’ll email

@Former-Member

Annoyed

Hi @BlueBay this is Iris here (moderator) I have also tried to send you an email but there is no email address for me to reply to, I will make a note re technical difficulties. In the mean time are you able to contact one of the following support services if things become too overwhelming? Management and safety plan for BlueBay - SANE Forums