not feeling good

Thankyou @MDT I think I will go to bed. I am exhausted from crying. I feel shit. I think we will have to buy very cheap meat and cook very limited food. We are going to ask our two boys if one can pay $20 a week and the other who works full $50 a week. Hubby will talk to them tomorrow.

I feel judged by putting hiw bad our finances are. I’m yo blame and I can’t fix it. I can’t see an answer. I’m sorry I’m crying again. That’s all I’ve done. I tried to chat online to Sane but they were busy sbd so was lifeline. Thanks for your support. Xxoo

Thankyou @Faith-and-Hope grest tips there. Xxoo

❤️ @BlueBay ....,

@Faith-and-Hope@MDT@Zoe7@Shaz51

I had a terrible night. Cried and cried myself to skeep. Hugging my pillow and slept for a while. Woke up again at the usual time of 3am!!! Couldn’t sleep for about 1/2 hr. Fell asleep but awake again at 5.30am. Now I’m up and I’m not good.

I’m blaming myself for all if this stuff. It’s my fault. If I didn’t have depression I wouldn’t be so bad in finances because I wouldn’t have to see a psych or psychologist or my doctor so often. I blame myself that I csnt work more.

Everything is bad because of me. I can’t help I have depression but hubby doesn’t understand he keeps saying stupid comments and digs that reflect on my health and depression.

I am going to go away. When I was awake I was thinking of a plan.

I need to fix things and I can’t. Hiw am I meant to fix things when I can’t even fix myself.

This weekend we will probably eat very little just to get us through to Wednesday which is pay. I’m so ashamed in telling you guys. I feel embarrassed and feel I’ll be judged by everyone at judt how bad we are.

Well there’s only one person to blame and it’s me. I suck and I don’t know if I can handle this on top of my mental health st the moment. Now I’m crying again. Life shouldn’t have to be this hard.

I cant see any light at the moment. 😥😥

Hi @traveller

how can I be ok with all this on my mind I csnt get a grip on my life.

Its my fault. I am so angry. I can’t evrn begin to tell you how angry I am at the moment. All my childhood abuse is st the forefront of my mind. I so haste those guys. No I csnt go there.

I csnt do this. I’m sorry I’m too emotional to talk.

Eating very little will leave your system with no energy to manage the negative thoughts @BlueBay.

Popcorn is very filling and doesn’t cost very much to pop your own. Raw vegetables like carrot, cucumber and celery are the same. Mix a packet of dried French Onion Soup mix with a block of light Philly cream cheese, and you will have enough dip for all the family to have with the veggies and it will quickly make everyone full.

Drinking tea will help you too.

Ask the boys to buy the ingredients for one meal each between now and Wednesday, and give them quantities for enough to make the meal, and a second meal from the leftovers. That’s four meals right there, and the one who is working and can afford to pay more can include eggs, bread, popcorn, rolled oats, rice, and milk on his shopping list. These things go a long way.

Just keep paddling your boat hour by hour @BlueBay. You will get through the weekend and through to Wednesday.

❤️

Hi BlueBay, i understand you are upset and angry and i wasnt asking you to be okay...i wanted to check in that you are safe. I can hear its all very dificult for you and hope things improve for you. I'm off the moderating now but i wanted to reply, Lola is around so please feel free to check in at anytime.

Kind regards

Traveller

Hi @traveller @lola

im not sure that I’m safe. I csnt tell you.

I’ll check in later eith Lola.

Im too upset stressed overwhelmed. Need to be in my own. Wish I could run away forever.