not feeling good

Yeah I’ll have to. I have no choice but wait. I hate boundaries rules challenges. I don’t cope well with them. I struggle.

I hate when I am like this. Sorry have to go back to work @Zoe7 chat later. Hope you’re ok. Xx

I’ll ask the pharmacist tonight when it’s just me and her. Thanks @Zoe7 xx

Just get through work - talk to the chemist and I'll catch you again later @BlueBay

How are you travelling tonight @BlueBay? Did you get some cream from the pharmacist?

No @Zoe7 we got so busy before close that I didn’t have time to ask her.

I’ll ring my doctor tomorrow morning. Seeing my psychologist tomorrow at 9am. Bit anxious because of the visions I’ve bren having.

I know you psych appointments are also very tricky for you too @BlueBay I should be around tomorrow morning so tag me if you need and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

I hope you can get in touch with your doctor too but if you can't don't hesitate to go to see the pharmacist for that cream.

Yeah thanks @Zoe7 i will let you know how I go. I get really worried that I will be triggered. I’m having visions of how the session will go. It’s really weird and messy.

That doesn't sound nice at all @BlueBay Are you imagining the worst because that is what you usually do when you know something is not going to be easy - I often do that too. Here to listen tonight if you need - or we can just chat to keep each other company - totally up to you Hon

@Zoe7It’s like I can tell you exactly how I will be in the session tomorrow. I sometimes can give you exact details but then I get triggered and dissociate snd that’s when I want to go to the ground. Like the other week I went straight behind the chair I was sitting in. And then my therapist cane behind me snd was hugging me. I was a complete mess. This is what I am worried about tomorrow that the same thing will happen again. I hate when I dissociate because it’s not me.

Right now my hubby is giving me the sh**s. whinge abs carry on about passwords on our computer. I’m trying to ignore him and block him out but it’s difficult.

So in my mind I can plan out my session. It’s weird and scary. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I don’t feel normal anymore. I feel that I’m just plodding along by day by day snd it’s the same sh**t just a different day. Do you ever get bored with life? I guess I’m older than you either adult children. But now in my 50’s I start to wonder about my life and what I’ve done and where I’m going. It’s scary to think I’m getting old and done nothing. I get very emotional when I think about it. My life is stale boring and dull. And I can’t do much in my life because I have no money.

Why am I whinging? I’m sorry.

I’m just feeling really terrible. I’m sorry @Zoe7

No need to be sorry BB - I told you I was here for you tonight and I meant it Hon @BlueBay