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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor15 Nov 2016, 9:06 pm AEDT

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

12926 replies

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In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor02 June 2018, 2:20 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

Sending hugs @BlueBay. ♥♡♥

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor02 June 2018, 1:06 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Hope you are feeling a lot better today @BlueBay.
The sun is shining here in Country Victoria. It'sa gorgeous day.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor02 June 2018, 1:22 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Hi @utopia
I wrote some stuff on "writing as a form of therapy"
I'm thinking that I'm breaking down. I don't know utopia. I struggle eith loneliness. It hurts so much. The pain is so hard to cope with.
It's hard, to be honest with you I feel a bit alone on the forum. I'm sorry I shouldn't say but now I have.
I thought last night of leaving but then was so upset at that thought snd can't stay away. I need you guys. I need the support. I think I have an attachment problem. It's me. I'm the one with the huge problem. Snd I don't know how to fix it. Think I'll need to speak to my psychologist next week.
@utopia what would you do if you felt so alone?
How should I tackle this?

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor02 June 2018, 4:21 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Sorry just got home from my sons soccer game @BlueBay.
Lonliness is hard. It hits me sometimes. Specifically wishing I had a partner in my life. Someone to love and who loves me.
I don't have many friends. 2old friends on Facebook who I live so far away from and my best friend here in town. I don't get lonely any more for friends really. I enjoy going to the movies on my own (no one to talk through it). Occasionally I wish I had a friend who had the same interests and passions as me. Someone smart and who wants to learn more. But again I belong to a Facebook group who provides that.
It would be good for you to talk about this with your psychologist. I guess it's about learning ways to stop focusing attention on these thoughts that cause so much pain. The feeling it. Acknowledging it. And then letting it go. Not easy. But learnable.
Are you wanting people around all the time so you don't have to think or feel certain things? Are you less likely to focus on negative thoughts when you're busy with others?
Might be good to try and answer these questions and then tell your psychologist what you think.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor02 June 2018, 4:30 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Thanks @utopia. I'm sorry you feel lonely at times. I don't have many friends msybe 3 very close friends. That's it. Even though I have a husband to go out for dinner movies or just a coffee I feel alone. I don't know why. I will bring it up with my psychologist.
I think a big part of it is that because my mum controlled me up until 7 yrs ago I never made my own decisions my own choices. It was always her decision on what furniture to buy for our house. What colour lounge to buy she would have the last day. So now I have to learn how to make my own decision choices. And it's the most difficult thing to do. Why? Because I don't trust myself don't trust my decisions. And then fear I've got it all wrong. So it's like I need people around to help me make decisions because I csnt or don't know how on my own. (Does that make sense??)
it's like I have to re-learn how to do a lot of things thsnks to my mum. I didn't realise how much control she had on me until recently.

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor02 June 2018, 4:54 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

It does make sense @BlueBay. And now you get to start living again. I guess it's telling yourself that it really doesn't matter if someone doesn't like your choice of couch or where to have dinner or your new dress. If you are comfortable with it. That's what matters.
So maybe that's it. Learning how to ne comfortable with your decisions. Because most everyday decisions in your life won't cause any problems if they are not 100% right slight wrong shade of blue - it's not the end of the World. You just learn to live with it.
I think you can and will learn how to make decisions without feeling uncomfortable. It's a matter of practice. You'll get there. And I bet your own taste will end up being better than your mums.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor02 June 2018, 4:57 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

You're so right @utopia. Because we bought a new home last year with all the new mod cons. So modern and different to mums. Yet when they came a few weeks ago she couldn't even say - gee you have a nice home congratulations. No nothing. Why? Because she's jealous. Snd I'm really happy with the choice and decision we made in buying this home WITHOUT her involvement. It was huge scary but we did it. You're right I can do it.
Thsnks utopia. Xxxooo

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Shaz51Senior Contributor02 June 2018, 5:01 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

I do feel lonely at times my sister @BlueBay

I don`t have any friends as they stopped interacting with me when i got married

I did have one friend , but her friendship was one sided , it is still is @utopia, but she did not like Mr shaz`s photography at all and has not been back to see me for 11 years

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor02 June 2018, 5:05 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

That's really sad @Shaz51 about being lonely with no friends. Well at least you know you have friends here on the forum thst care about you and your hubby.
Sis BB Xxoo

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor02 June 2018, 5:12 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Ouch @Shaz51. That's a really harsh friend. Doesn't even make sense unless it was really about wanting all your attention herself and not wanting you to share that attention with Mr Shaz. Am so sorry.
@BlueBay - you're welcome. See. You've been doing this all along and liking your decisions.
Sleep time now.

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