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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor15 Nov 2016, 9:06 pm AEDT

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

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In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor12 May 2018, 12:32 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

That is part of your trauma @BlueBay ...... but it doesn’t mean you have to work through every part of your trauma before the pain will subside ...... just getting started with it and continuing to practice the DBT skills may be enough for the pain to start easing quite quickly ........

Focus on trying to practice the skills you have been learning, and keep talking to your gp and counsellor s as you go, and see what starts to happen.

My D3 has just started with a psychologist, but just having that voice, just being able tot all about what has been happening for her, is making a difference.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor12 May 2018, 1:16 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

I understand what you're saying @Faith-and-Hope. Somehow there is so much fear. Fear of breaking down fear of losing it. I'm so scared of having a complete breakdown and ending up in hospital. My doctor told me today that I am worse when I go to hospital because it takes me a month or more to get back on track. He doesn't want me to go back. I'm going to be honest with snd I haven't told anyone on here before - and I feel so ashamed in saying - but sometimes I fantasise being so sick thst I see myself being rescued by the police the ambulance and taken to hospital and looked after. Cared for. I fantasise that everyone cares for me.
I feel terrible in telling you this. Hope I'm not judged now by saying this. It's my mental illness isn't it. I'm so screwed up in my head. Every night when in bed I fantasise a scenario of being rescued whether it's at home or on a cliff or at the beach drowning or in the car in an accident. These all seem so real to me.
Not sure if this is making sense.
Wow I've just written it down on here. I hope people on here don't judge me as crazy.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor12 May 2018, 1:57 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

I feel terrible and horrible. I hate myself. I feel sick in the stomach.
I googled psychosomatic. And it makes sense to me - that's what I have.
I wish I didn't write what I did now but it's too late.
I'm a weird person. A person that craves others. I need attention I need love. I need reassurance. I need validation I need help.
I'm falling down into my depression. But prob no one will believe me now because of what I wrote.
This isn't making sense. I feel really not with it and drowsy like I'm on something. It's weird.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor12 May 2018, 4:32 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

I feel sick in my stomach where the possible ulcer is. It hurts.
Or is it niw psychosomatic??
I am confused is it real or not real
The pain is def real. I feel it. It's not in my head
I just don't feel well

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Shaz51Senior Contributor12 May 2018, 4:35 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

hello @BlueBay, sitting with you my friend and hope you feel better soon xx

In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor12 May 2018, 4:37 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

You might have an ulcer as well @BlueBay ..... if your doctor is saying you might have one

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor12 May 2018, 5:33 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

@Former-Member I need to know I'm not being judged because I think I am.
Sorry not thinking strsight. I don't take things right. Too personally. I write something and niw I regret writing

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Shaz51Senior Contributor12 May 2018, 5:38 pm AEST