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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor15 Nov 2016, 9:06 pm AEDT

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

12926 replies

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In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor29 Apr 2018, 10:31 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

You be gentle with yourself too @Former-Member I hope you have enough energy to take the kids out for a ride. Take care my friend
Hugs LJ
Xxxooo

In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor29 Apr 2018, 12:19 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

❤️ @BlueBay .....

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor29 Apr 2018, 5:36 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

@Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 and others reading

My husband doesn't understand my illness and it really frustrates me to the point of wanting to Sh so I can show him.
We went grocery shopping earlier and when we came home I said I feel lightheaded. His reply was "oh here we go again !!!" WTF
I turned around and said what did you say it's not like I make this up I don't feel well. It's like you don't believe me. He said oh you must be tired. No I haven't had my meds and I feel sick. He knows I almost fainted twice last week and ended in hospital does he not believe me.
I've gone into intense anger and Sh thoughts Just to get back and show him. He had no idea. How many times do I have to tell him I don't feel well. He can't fix it he can't fix me.
I wish I had my meds. It's not good at all.
As soon as he says "oh here we go again " it invalidates me of my illness my emotions and me. It j validates me of me and being sick.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor29 Apr 2018, 5:43 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

It’s been like that for one of my kids and mr. f&h @BlueBay ..... it is so foreign to his view of the world and the ideas he was raised with .....

I used to be able to teach him about things like this, and even though it was foreign to him, he would listen and learn. Now with the mi on board, he switched into his family’s way of thinking like someone flicked a switch ..... it triggered the family patterns in his thinking, and he has invalidated this one’s emotional-physical illness .... exactly like that, “Here we go again ...”

Can you bring home some written information from your pdoc or gp explaining about how PTSD affects people ? It might help him to understand if he respects that the specialists understand all this, and that it is a legitimate field of medicine ?

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor29 Apr 2018, 6:22 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

I will speak to my GP and psych. I have given him information on BPD but he quickly flicked through the pages and that was it. I think it's because he was never shown any empathy from his parents growing up. He is an only child and that says a lot too. He doesn't understand the siblings stuff either. He wants to wipe things away for eg. My issue with depression snd hospital admissions- he wants to just wipe it away instead of dealing with it with me. He can't or doesn't want to confront my illness and my trauma. He thinks just because I said hello to my brother last week that I am fine. Does he realise how I had to hide my emotions my feelings for my brother just for that night. By saying hello doesn't fix things. But I think in his eyes it does.
No idea and that's why I feel so alone snd I struggle 😥

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor29 Apr 2018, 6:23 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

@Faith-and-Hope tag for above post

In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor29 Apr 2018, 6:35 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

You have a wealth of understanding here on the forums @BlueBay .....

It is important that your dr’s know that your husband cannot empathise with you, your depression and your trauma. As your carer he needs to have some learning and understanding in these things. There might be a carer’s group he can attend, but it might take an appointment with your pdoc where he asks hubby to attend a support group so he learns to understand what you are going through, and what he can do to help keep you moving towards recovery, which is in his best interests too.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor29 Apr 2018, 6:48 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Thsnks @Faith-and-Hope
I will def talk to my psych and GP.
Xxx

In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor29 Apr 2018, 6:50 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

You can all work together to try to find a way to motivate hubby to help ......

❤️ @BlueBay

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor30 Apr 2018, 8:04 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

I've woken up this morning with shingles. Well I'm pretty it's thst cause I've had them before. I've made an appt to see my doctor this morning to confirm and give me a medication. You only have 72 hrs to take the med fir it to work.
I also think I have a stomach ulcer. The pain last night was terrible. Kept waking me up. Didn't have a good night. Have to go to work but now not sure what dr will say.
I think my body is so down it's getting everything.

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