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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor15 Nov 2016, 9:06 pm AEDT

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

12926 replies

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In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor26 Mar 2018, 5:53 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Do you have enough going on to keep you distracted tonight @BlueBay ?

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor26 Mar 2018, 5:56 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

No. I'm feeling destructive
I don't care about dinner tonight
I need to take my meds but don't care about that either
J is angry

In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor26 Mar 2018, 6:04 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Self-sabotaging by not taking your meds doesn’t help @BlueBay ...... you just end up feeling much worse, and your go who is supporting you has to dress you down over it.

I know you are feeling like you don’t care in this momemt, but try to think for later too, when this storm has passed and you have to start putting the pieces back together.

Just call it a day, take your meds and go to bed maybe ? You are entitled to self-care, and your family are grown up, so fully capable of putting a dinner together without you, or buying something in, right ?

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor26 Mar 2018, 6:14 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

But I want to self sabotage so I suffer. I want to suffer and feel the pain. I know it doesn't make sense. I'm going to bed early and see if I can sleep. Hubby is cooking pasta so I'll eat a little and then bed. I'm angry with myself so much. I want to hurt. I'm not making sense.i never do.

In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor26 Mar 2018, 6:21 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

It does make sense with your circumstances @BlueBay ..... and it is good for you to express what you are feeling this way, but you are also recognising that it is not a healthy response. Thinking about it but not doing it is okay ...... it’s just a thought at this stage ...... keep fighting and hat impulse with self-care ...... well done.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor26 Mar 2018, 6:57 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

I'm sorry @Faith-and-Hope
I try so hard to be good. But it's a difficult process. It's hard to stay distracted from the negative in my head.
I seem to never be a good person. I'm hopeless.
I think I need to stop sabotaging myself it hurts. Sh hurts also. I've hurt myself so I better go. I'm really sorry. You try to help me snd I never listen.

In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor26 Mar 2018, 7:06 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

You do listen sometimes @BlueBay .....

You are a good person ...... you look after your family, you have raised your kids well, and what happ bed to you as a child was not your fault ...... neither was having a mother who can’t give to you emotionally in the way you have always needed her to.

You have suffered these hurts @BlueBay, and it is natural to this sort of injury to take it out on yourself, because you don’t know what else to do to try to cope ...... but we are here ...... caring about you, caring about what happened to you, and caring about your struggles to recover.

Just keep doing the best you can Hon ..... and stop and ask yourself sometimes, “Am
I doing the best I can ?” If you think you could be doing something better, then try for that ...... okay ? Just try ..... that is all anyone can ask of themselves, and when you are tired, rest ...... and when you can’t do things alone, look for someone to help you ......

Hugs 💜💐

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor26 Mar 2018, 8:33 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@Faith-and-Hope
I've hurt myself
I'm sorry I'm in bed alone
Can't sleep
Just Sh

In response to: not feeling good

CatcakesSenior Contributor26 Mar 2018, 8:45 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

This is what I m talking about @Former-Member

In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor26 Mar 2018, 8:54 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Hearing you @BlueBay ...

Can you listen to some gentle music ?

Hug yourself and rock a bit maybe .... it can help stop spinning thoughts.

Or get up to have a shower .....

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.