not feeling good

What did he say to that @BlueBay?

yes , what did he say @BlueBay xxx

@Zoe7@Shaz51

He asked me first where I was and I told him I was on my lunch break at work. He said that father's day would come and go very quickly. he said to let that thought just pass and think of something positive. he also told me that i am very strong and that a few months ago i would have been able to deal with this but he feels i am strong enough to deal with fathers day. that's what he thinks - i don't think so.

he says i can. i told him it is hard because flashbacks are back, and it's hard to think of something positive when this is so damn horrible

He has two things right BB - 1. YOU ARE STRONG and 2. Sunday will come and go quickly!

It is also great that you are being honest with him. If you look back a few months you will see how very far you have come - you couldn't even talk about what was happening for you - let alone make the phine call to seek help That is a HUGE move forward for you @BlueBay and I am very proud of my little yellow flower

Thanks @Zoe7 for your kind words, even though I still don't believe I am strong. I don't know why I am so negative about myself. I see myself as a woman in her 50's fragile, trying to cope as best she can going to work, struggling daily with her emotions going from happy to sad to anger to frustration in minutes; to SH to then no feeling. I see myself as a wife, mother and friend to those around me but not sure how they see me. Maybe they see me strong too, i don't know.

I'm going to ring the hospital on Monday to see where I am on the waiting list.

How are you @Zoe7 ? How are you @Shaz51 ?

Thanks I still feel crappy, it's like christmas day, birthdays, mothers/fathers day i want all those days to disappear quickly because i can't cope well with those particular days.

i wish i could take something and sleep it off for a few days 😞

You are strong @BlueBay my awesome friend

me , I am tired and aching , but ok talking to you here makes me smile

It is your natural 'default setting' @BlueBay that has been created in your mind to protect yourself. If you don''t have any expectations or positive thoughts about yourself then when you are hurt or let down by others you are not surprised, you feel like it is deserved because that is what you have known. It is a very hard mindset to get out of - I know that one BB

Oh @Shaz51 I like talking to you too 🙂

Not sure if I told you that my son is coming home tonight from the police academy. He's done his first week and he is allowed home on the weekends. he'll be home soon. i'm cooking sweet potato fries in the oven, vegies, and turkey rissoles with salad. I can't wait to see him and listen to what he's been up to on his first week there. He goes back on Sunday afternoon.

The house is so quiet now with one less child. And i miss him so much too. Maybe that's why I have been so down too, I just remembered because he's not here. So many changes 😞

that sounds lovely @BlueBay, always good to catch up with the kids

I wish my 4 step children lived closer to us , have to be phone calls until we can visit

we are visiting our son in sydney in november , he is turning 30 and our daughter is coming with us -- wow

another son is in a competition tomorrow but it is a 15 hours drive away , too far

@Zoe7 @Shaz51

forgot to tell you both I had a customer yell at me today and complained about me which led me to walk into the store room and cry

This guy came into the store with a cut behind his knee, he said he cut it in the car. he wanted a band aid or some sort of dressing. i suggested a dressing and was going to show him what we had. he then throws his hands in the air and says no. i suggest he then should go to the doctor next door and the nurse will dress it for him. he yells out no i am not going to the doctors just for that. so i said well what do you want me to do, i am not a nurse. to which he decides to walk out yelling.

i turned to the pharmacist and said did i do anything wrong and he said no just don't worry about it, calm down, dont worry. but me being me i did worry and was getting emotional.

next thing he comes back in and asks for the manager, the pharmacists goes over and says how can i help you. the guys rants and raves about his cut which now has gone on his clothes which he was very annoyed about and that he was angry about staff members not helping him (meaning me). he then said he will never come back to our pharmacy. (no loss really). he then asks for the owners phone number. the pharmacist gave him our supervisors number and this guy left.

He was so rude, he did all this in front of other customers who stood there and watched this idiot yell at me. i couldn't do anything more to help him.

i just hope he never comes back.