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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

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In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Sooo pleased for you @BlueBay .... that sounds like an amazing change of circumstances ..... ❣️

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope

I'm still not 100% sure but the thought is there. And there's no pressure to go this week although it would be nice for Father's Day. But if not, well i will go soon.

In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

It would be very nice for Fathers Day @BlueBay .... but see how you go. I know you will remember the fathers who are already a big part of your life - your hubby and your grandbaby's daddy .....

💙💕

In response to: Re: not feeling good

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

thats all sounding really positive @BlueBay

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay. It sounds like you have thought this through quite rationally. Having your husband and your daughter there will take the pressure off of you - while still allowing you to see your precious dad.
Just to be on the safe side - maybe book an appointment with your psychologist for the day after you see your dad.
The first visit won't heal everything, but it's a start in the right direction. I so truly hope this works out wrll for you and your dad. I'll be sending positive vibes (prayers) your way.
What a strong decision from a strong woman!!!

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Hi @utopia @outlander @Faith-and-Hope

I'm not sure now, I am having second thoughts. I am not going to do anything certain until i feel the right time is to go.

if it's next week or the week after well so be it.

I just saw my new psychologist and she seems really nice. easy to talk to. she asked qurestions, i had to start from the start about my trauma. she agrees that i need to do DBT again and learn boundaries, distress tolerance and skills. She is going to phone my GP this afternoon and ask if he will refer me to the public health hospital for a case manager in the mental health system. Then i can do the DBT program for free.

i hope i can get in there as i really cannot afford to go to the private clinic.

She will now call me to discuss when to have next session and how to go to plan forward .

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay. When you're ready - not before hand.
The private Psych hospital I stayed at offer two or three week (can't remember which) inhouse dbt program. And it's covered by your privaye insurance.
Maybe you could look into this as another option.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Hi @utopia

I think i know which hopsital it is in Melbourne. The trouble is that the course is run for a year. I did call a major private hospital in Melbourne last week and it was too hard. It was one day group and one day private session. I couldn't afford it and also to drive over an hour up and back home would be too difficult for 2 days a week.

I could go in as a private patient and do the 3 weeks course but it's not the full course, which is what has been recommended I do.

By the way @utopia I am so glad you are home. It must feel strange in a way to be home after such a long time in hospital. But also good to be home.

I'm sorry I haven't read all your posts, i am struggling to keep up with everything at the moment.

I am so fragile at the moment. I have to go back to work tomorrow after having 2 weeks off. I just hope that the hospital I go to call me any day to say they have a bed.

Love and hugs to you my friend xxxooo

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

No need to read others posts @BlueBay. I couldn't up until now. When we are sick it has to be - all about ME. Focusing all our energy on ourselves.
A 3 week course might be a good starter, until you can get into the year long program. I met many at the hospital who did it this way. But you need to do what's right for you.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Thanks @utopia

I will give this hospital (that I think) a call this week and find out more.

Take care, BB xxxooo

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