Hi @NikNik @Change123 @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @outlander @Owlunar @utopia @Phoenix_Rising @CherryBomb @Former-Member and everyone else I have forgotten (sorry)
I have been discharged from hospital today. 3 weeks today and I have gone through the wringer. well that's how I feel. I have had ups and downs; lots of downs. Quite a few one on one sessions with a psychologist who got me to write a letter to my dad as i don't see him. It was very hard to do but once I wrote it I had to read it to her. Well as you can imagine I sobbed and sobbed. i grabbed a pillow and hugged it so tight that when i let it go i was physically and mentally exhuasted. my body just collapsed. i also dissociated and was not 'in the present moment' quite a few times. She was lovely and caring, she asked if i wanted a hug from her but i said no i just wanted to hug the pillow. i remmeber telling her i miss my dad, i love my dad, i just want my dad, and i was sobbing. i couldn't believe how much i had kept inside of me and how emotional i was.
she expalined that i have 3 separate issues i need to deal with.
- my trauma and childhood abuse
- my mum and anger
- my dad and grief
it all made sense when she explained it like that. i had a few sessions with her on my own it was good because i was getting used to her and she understood me. we seemed to gel together. she said she can see me in private practise if i would like to. i was thinking today that i am going to change.
i have made some drastic changes for the better the past month
- a new GP, who got the ball rolling with me going into hospital
- a new psychiatrist who is so on the ball with knowing what meds work
- a new psychologist who understands childhood trauma and grief
- a consultant physician who my psych referred me to in hospital who kept coming in to see how I was
My psych tested me for a number of things and now i am been treated for:
- underactive thryoid
- very low iron levels (5)
- very low vitamin D
- had to have a brain scan because of daily headaches (all okay)
- stomach pains were checked out
- blood pressure sorted out with a new medication
- headaches sorted with new medication
I feel now that I am on the 'right track' with my health. Whether I am better mentally - well I can't say just yet, i know i have a lot more work still to do.
Tomorrow hubby and I are away for a week for our anniversary. we are going to the Sunshine Coast. When we come back, I am going back into hospital for another 1-2 weeks to adjust meds and increase it to the higher dose and see how I tolerate it. My psych was happy to let me go. He is only giving me weekly meds and no more extras. He prob does't trust me just yet.
Still I do trust him and have faith in him. I have sent my new GP a message letting him know how I have been, he is happy that i am in hospital and have been receiving proper care.
I am so glad that i made the choice of seeing this new GP who helped me to get to hospital.
Knitting had kept me calm, My daughgter is now 19 weeks this Sunday. Almost half way!! Can you believe that. She is due to have her scan in 2 weeks time so we will find out. Don't worry I will let you all know.
My son is still waiting for police force, i hope he hears from them soon. he is so frustrated, but at least he is still working.
anyway, i better go, i haven't been on much lately, just been too tired and falling to sleep early. think it's the new meds.
pls take care everyone, i often think of everyone but haven't replied.
i prob won't be on here much this coming week as i'll be away.
taking a book to read, no knitting. relax by the pool. i will try to get some intimacy back into our marriage, not sure how that will go. any advice girls will be appreciated 🙂
it's a bit scary when nothings happened in that department for almost a year.
BB xxxooo
