not feeling good

i love you my little fish @BlueBay and im sure many other members within your forum family love you as well. and your soon to be grandchild and your kids

sending you big hugs and lots of love

Morning @BlueBay

I'm here with you my beautiful friend

You are feeling nervous about seeing this new GP - that is understandable - just the thought of having to go through 'stuff' again makes you feel even more vulnerable and anxious. You are feeling overwhelmed again and that is when you feel the most down on yourself and the negative self-talk kicks in. That is ok because you are subconscioiusly protecting yourself.

Try to remember how caring and supportive this new GP was the other day - he listened - and he acted on what you were presenting with - no judgements, no dismissing your feelings - just concern and empathy. That is a really postive attribute and he seems to be just what you have been searching for. I understand your ambivalence in seeing him again - yes you left hospital - but that was doing what was best for you at the time - that is ok - it was your decision, and in making that decision you took some control over your situation - that decision is to be respected!

You are definitely not bad my beautiful friend - just emotional and lost in your feelings at the moment - and you are definitely LOVED - by your kids, by Jersey, by your forum family and definitely by ME - your little flutterby friend is always sitting on your shoulder.

You can do this @BlueBay - and I will be sitting on your shoulder and walking with you all the way...

sending you strength, courage and love...

Zoe

Thinking of you @BlueBay ..... and sending you hugs.

💙🐚

Morning @BlueBay. I can see that things are really difficult for you right now. Yes of course its very hard and incredibly stressful to have to go through things all over again with someone new. But they cant help you until you do. I agree with @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Former-Member, that this new GP sounds like he is very 'MI friendly' and knowledgable. You have opened a door just a crack, but now you need to walk through it. So walk through with pride and hope ... go to your appointment, dont cancel. You are NOT bad, and your feelings are not stupid. They are very understandable under the circumstances.

Please know that we are all here to urge and support you. If you dont feel strong enough on your own yet, let us help to carry you. You will soon develop your own strength.

Thinking of you.

Sherry

Hi @BlueBay

I am sorry you are feeling so bad - and deeply concerned with your hearing disembodied voices while you were talking with your doctor - this is not good at all

And this new doctor seems to be on the ball - and I think what catatonic means in this case is that you are slow to respond to what is said to you - as of you are stuck somewhere

And indeed you are - with all the exciting things happening in your life you are still stuck with mother-issues and I do understand that - your mother has not right in your life and what she told you is not the truth - and it is holding you back from living your real life - and this is such a pity

You do need that break in hospital - you were there before Christmas and taken out of it before you were ready - just it was Christmas - so you didn't get the help you needed

We are all here caring - so any of us telling you how great you are - and you are -

If only you could put our voices into your head in place of your mother's voice - that would be so cool

Thinking of you again today BB

Dec

Great news @BlueBay. It is so important to feel that we have a voice and that we are being heard. Your new GP sounds just what you need - sympathetic, knowledgeable and proactive. I hope you now have the trust and faith in him that you need to have, in order for him to do the very best for you.

This all sounds very positive BlueBay. Of course you are nervous, anyone would be. But finally you are likely to receive the help you need, the break you deserve, and hopefully a great resolution to the worst of your woes.

Now ... try to relax for the rest of the Easter weekend, knowing that next week is all taken care of.

Kindest thoughts and a reassuring hug to you Blue.

Sherry

Hi @Former-Member @utopia @Former-Member @Owlunar @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7

i managed to pack a few boxes in the kitchen today. i took all the frames of the walls and put them in the room with all the stuff we are selling/keeping.

I was so exhausted this afternoon, feeling very down that i had to have a nap. I slept for a while.

The GP hasn't called me, Bit annoyed because he told me he would call at lunchtime. But i am thinking that maybe he is still waiting to hear back from the psych. He may even call me later or Monday, i don't know.

Has anyone heard of the word "catatonic" because this is how he described how i was the other night. Is it dissociation? I told him i do this quite a bit. And i told him that i cannot remember what we spoke about and what questions he asked me. He said he understood because i was not well.

Maybe now someone like this nw doctor has actually seen me in my 'own little world and state' that he has witnessed exactly how i am. and he can explain to the psych what he saw and how i was.

this psych i have seen before. not sure if you all remember but when i was fed up with my regular psych i got a referral to see a new one. this one works in the same rooms as my regular one, i was so scared to see him but i did. saw him twice and once while in hospital, he is good. but at the time he said it would be better if i kept seeing my regular psych. we'll see what happens now and if he is happy to see me this time.

i think an early night tonight, i feel very depressed and am not wanting to speak to anyone at home. hubby helped pack a few boxes in another room which is good. i told him this morning that my doctor wants me to go back into hospital, he didn't say no this time maybe because this doctor called him once i left for hospital the other night, and i don't really know what was said to him.

why do i feel so yuk, i feel numb and just want to hibernate on my own.