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not feeling good

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

12926 replies

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In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

Hey @utopia could you take a look at my recent comments on my thread and see if you can shine some light for me?

In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

No @Former-Member lifeline don't give names. But beyondblue give their names.

i am not going back to lifeline now; i can't start again.

too many triggers; i hate it

In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

Ok can you call beyond blue? @BlueBay

In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

Im well awarr of triggers @BlueBay
Do you want some help with them?

In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

@utopiathe thought of SH is intense. i am angry at my family, my parents, the abusers it just goes on and on and on. when will this stop in my head.

i can never forget what happened. i am hurting so much; my heart is broken and it can never be fixed. never.

i know i have a hubby and three children and a grandchild on the way and a new house soon - so why can't i be happy.

i so want to SH to get back at people; to get rid of this intnesity of pain i am in right now; no one understands.

guess the mods are busy tonight to be on here. oh well it doesn't matter anymore.

i am going; i need to be alone for a while; it's not you or the others; i need to be alone with whatever is in my hands;

i am really sorry; i so wish i could have someone hug me right now but no one can so that's just bad luck for me isn't like everything else in my life - bad luck. well it wasn't bad luck when i was sexually abused was it; it wasn't bad luck when my mum yelled at me and said i have betrayed the family.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

how @Former-Member

everytime i have a trigger it sends me into a mental negative state where i want to hurt myself so much to get rid of the pain

In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

I know the feeling @BlueBay
I know how intense it is. I sh quite abit i really hope you resist the urge.
Get a piece of paper and a pen and just scribble scribble scribble to get abit of that anger away

In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

@Former-Member

Have you got any coping strategies to help you from a psychologist?

In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

Oh @BlueBay sh doesnt really help and it becomes like an addiction . You will regret it once you start to see the scars. Please dont do that to yourself.

In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay. I'm sending you a big supportive comforting hug. I know it's not the same as a real one. But maybe you could wrap your arms around you & think that it's me hugging you and sending you love.
You self harming won't get back at your family. It doesn't hurt your mum. But my god, it hurts you. And I'm so sorry your mum is incapable of seeing and understanding and acknowledging what happened to you & what she herself has done to you.
It's not bloody fair. You weren't protected. You weren't listened to. You weren't believed.
But I believe you. We all do here. We know how much you are hurting..
So we need to help you re-focus. Reduce some of this pain tonight so that you can breathe.
What about a long hot shower before bed? Feel the water through your scalp. Feel it washthe ttension from your body. Let all that anger wash down the plug whole. Wash away all the pain.
Then put on your most comfortable pajamas. Make a nice hot cup of herbal tea. Snuggle into your bed. Feel how warm and comfortable it is. It will be a safe place to rest and sleep.
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