Hi @BlueBay
I am glad to catch up - there is something about Fridays - I just never have time on Fridays - I have domestic help early and then shopping straight after and then time passes while I take it easy for a break and then it's off to the doctor -
It's always a good idea to stop whatever you are doing and do something different when you start to think about SH - I really do not know what that's like - but I have an idea that it's causing one kind of pain to take the first pain away and it's sad - enough to make me cry - that those guys took your innocence away and have made it so hard for you -
I think your plan is to find a way to make sure they don't ruin the rest of it - maybe why you are having so much trouble packing up to move
You can get professionals in to help you with that - forget about the expense because the amount of stress you are having is far worse I think - but get rid of your mother's cast-off clutter
My stars I can hardly believe you have had all that in YOUR home - but my ex-bf was living rent-free in his father's house and his father (who was living with his girlfriend) insisted he knew everything that was in there and I laughed when I heard that because I knew that the place was full of clutter and NOTHING would make me put up with that - it's CORROSIVE
But with your own stuff - all your own little treasures - pack them up in small boxes with newspaper and bubble wrap and enjoy the memories such things have for you - and the keepsakes from your children being young etc - that is the delicate and tricky part of it
I have moved so often in my life - being the child of a policeman meant moving a lot and I have moved - gotta think - 5 times since I was divorced - one thing about rental accomodation is that you can move without the tyrrany of real estate - though I wish I had some real estate now
I am glad you are okay atm and hope the football helped - some times the really mundane can remind us that living our lives one day at a time with it's ups and downs and borning parts can be calming
I went to the football - that is AFL footfall once - and it was just after my son died and I was feeling bleak and unhappy and it was the best football match on record - it was a cold but brightly sunny afternoon - and ST Kilda was winning and losing and winning and losing and I was exercising my lungs without any thought - wow
The woman next to me asked me to keep my voice down - and I turned to her and said "Lady - we are at the football - this is where we come to harmlessly release our verbal agression" and turned away and went on yelling
And I had the best meat pie at half-time - that was the best meat pie I ever had in my life and I don't like meat pies
What am I saying - yes - the football is different things for different people but it has a distinct person and that is distraction -
I wasn't here yesterday - I had a bad taxi-driver when I was going to the doctor - I will be putting in a complaint - he wasn't going the way I told him and he was going to fast then braking and my back was doing a huge dance - so I sat in my chair and watched TV for a long time last night
You are constantly in my thoughts - I really want you to overcome the trauma of your past but I know the chemistry in your brain does not give you any rest - and everyone is different
But moving from the house where your mother had so much control over you is really hard - I understand this and I am thinking of you - even when I am not here
Dec
