not feeling good

Morning @MDT @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @Maggie @Owlunar @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Molliex @Angels333 @outlander @oceangirl @Bunniekins @Eve7 @Ant7 and so many others i have forgotten

I have decided to stay away from the forum. I didn't tell anyone or write on here before i stopped (almost two weeks ago). In fact looking back now I feel that I am not really missed at all. I do understand that everyone has their own issues and don't come on here all the time. I do get that. I just thought that people would have missed me. But maybe i am not missed at all.

In fact I wrote two emails to Sane and have not received a reply. Just shows how much I am missed 😞

I did see that @MDT you asked where I was. And that @Jynx replied that i was taking a break. Don't know how they knew as I didn't tell anyone. But thank you for checking in on me. It was annoying to me that not even a moderator or manager could check in on me after not been on here for more than 14 days. But i am not the only one on here, there are hundred of members. so one little person like me not on here wouldn't really matter 😞

Anyway it doesn't matter anymore. I am staying away. Don't know if i will ever come back.

Life at the moment is still the same, home life, work life, family and children. And COVID just makes things a whole lot worse.

The thing is I can't concentrate when reading so many different members posts. I get totally confused and can't remember. So then I feel that i am wasting my time in coming on and trying to reply when I can't remember things.

I have been on here for 4 years and have made some beautiful connections with members. I don't know really know what I will do, i guess just keep plodding along.

To be totally honest, and i hope i don't offend or get anyone angry. But i do find at times that there are certain members who are very supportive to each other. And i feel that i should not interfere or go on their posts. i feel that i am intruding and therefore stay away. It's the way i feel. It is great to see that some members have a better connection with others, it just feels that i am intruding and that i am not wanted on their posts. I am sorry but i have seen this many times and have not said anything before. it really hurts.

I wasn't going to come on here and tell you all that i was leaving, but felt that i needed to say something. I couldn't just leave.

In the time away i haven't had the need to come on and type about my life or what is going on every single day.

I have had though some online chats with the counsellors and they have been great. I will continue that if I need to.

For now I will leave. I wish everyone good health, love and strength. i will miss you all terribly but for now i just can't stay on here.

i really hope that you are okay @Emelia8 i have read your posts and am very concerned. pls take care.

i better stop typing otherwise i will be a blubbering mess.

pls take care everyone, i love you all.

i hope that if i do come back on one day that i will be remembered.

BB 😞 😞 😞

xxxxxxooooo

Oh @BlueBay , I am sorry that you feel this way. I am certain that you are very much cared about.

I can't speak for others, but for myself at the moment, I am only checking the forums if I am tagged. I am tired and I can't keep up with the forums right now. So I am not around much, but I can say i care about you and I am really sorry if not checking on you has caused you any pain.

I am sending you massive hugs and I hope you don't go away for too long. I'm always around if I am tagged xxx

@BlueBay

I can see that in your 4 years of being a member you have made some really beautiful connections with other members. You are certainly valued here. The beauty of the forums is that its a space members can take a break from, and come and go as it feels right for them. As long as you keep your account we will be here when you feel like connecting again.

Wishing you all the best BB!

Just a reminder that the forums inbox has a 48 hour turnaround time for emails, so we will reply to you soon

Do what is best for you @BlueBay I hope your future improves. I care about you but can’t say much right now.

💙💙💙

I'm sorry @BlueBay

I think it might be the best for you to take some serious time out from the forum and think about it for a while

Several people left messages while you were away - I was one of them and it's tough to read that you feel that no one missed you and it's really obvious that people do care about you - I certainty know I do. I don't feel I can add any more to you story and it's really hard to say that - I feel I have failed and that's okay - I can ride it out - but can you?

You can still tag me - I'm okay with that - I'm disappointed with myself mostly

All the best

Dec

@BlueBay I have noticed that you were not around. You have been missed. I suppose it just happens that way in forums where there are people with mental illnesses and those with family members who have a mental illness. People flow in like the tide then flow out again only to come back again at a later stage. Speaking for myself my memory is so bad that I cannot remember everyone I have met on the forums. It is not that I dont care about them I do I just need to see them posting to have my little grey cells working again. I would say do not go. Stay. The choice however is yours I cannot make you stay but you will as I said previously be missed. Love to youBBxx

hi @Owlunar

I know that you have replied to me and that you cared. I didn't mean to upset you or anyone else on here by what I wrote. I obviously didn't write what i wanted to say clearly. I do acknowledge the post you wrote, but i didn't reply to it. i do know that you and all the others on here care for me and I am sorry if i have caused anyone feeling upset or angry with me.

I will go, not sure really how long.

Like you say "I need to seriously take some time out from the forum"

I never meant to hurt you at all. And if i have i am truly sorry.

This is why i need to go, because i get myself into trouble all the time.

Bye

Thanks again @Bunniekins @Eve7 @Jupiter @MDT for your replies today.

Bye

@BlueBay ... I have missed you every day my long time friend and confidant. And I have consistently posted to your thread when I have been around. As you know however, I have been away myself for much of the time you have been gone. Only popping in for a few days and then gone again.

Of course I will miss you very much should you decide to leave us all. You may be only one little person (just like me) but your absence would matter to me. And I know to others as well.

It does matter, if you are only leaving because you think nobody cares. Because I know lots of us care for and about you. I was really happy when I saw your message come up, and then greatly saddened when I read that you were thinking about leaving. You have always supported me from when I first joined here, it must be around the same time as me. I first joined on 24th September 2016 I think. And I have valued your support and friendship for the whole time since then.

But I also know that sometimes a change is needed, and its possible that you no longer need us as much as you did. Perhaps thats a good thing? Of course you know you can always come back any time you feel you want to.

Much love to you BlueBay

Emelia 🌸