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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

12926 replies

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In response to: not feeling good

MDTSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Yeah @Maggie

In response to: Re: not feeling good

MaggieSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

I’m sorry @MDT . ❤️❤️

In response to: Re: not feeling good

MDTSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Thanks @Maggie

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Hi @Zahlia @Maggie @MDT

@Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar @Shaz51

I was in a bad way this morning. My anger and brhsviour weren't great. I lashed out at myself.
My mind was everywhere. I made 3 separate appointment to see my doctor in two days. I then cancelled them. And then I made the appts again.
I ended up going to see him at 2pm. He knew I was not good and angry. He asked what was going on snd I couldn't tell him. Do he asked about group therapy and I told him about and then cried. I told him I didn't deserve going through the things I did. And at the end of group I reacted to the subject we talked about.
he said he feels for me as I've had big life changes the past 6 months. But I got through them.
He wants me to write down 5 things that make me not want to get better. And then we will talk about each one and he'll help me work through it. He wants me to be totally honest.
I made a confession to him which now I feel judged by him and people on here. I told him honestly that I am scared of getting better because I'll lose the reassurance from others and I'll feel very lost and alone. And to me that is huge. He told me he understood.
it's the first time I've told him.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay you will have our love and support here throughout the recovery process and beyond Hon. We see the beautiful person you are and that part doesn't change .... the healing and recovery pathway just leads to better outcomes for you .....

Keep taking the baby steps. Right with you .... ❣️

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Thankyou @Faith-and-Hope

it means a lot to have your support. You are dealing with a lot and have your own struggles. ❤️❤️🙏

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

sitting with you @BlueBay

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Thank you sis. How are you @Shaz51 ❤️❤️

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Feeling like I'm on a big mountain ready to drop. My head is so tangled messed up with things I need to do fix or clear. But I can't. I feel stuck in this mix of stuff in my head.
I feel like i fo t want to go to work snymire or socialise with anyone

i want yo stsy hime. Don't want to do anything

I think I'm sabotaging myself agsin so I don't have to go to work. I've been home now 8 weeks.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Sounds like you are struggling a bit @BlueBay

Am around for a bit if you need to chat.

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