not feeling good

Ha ha @BlueBay ... you sound like the perfect Nonna. There to help, but not interfere. But the really good thing is that you have been able to establish such a wonderfully close and loving relationship with your little grand daughter. This would likely never have been possible, without the fact that you are, in @Owlunar wise words, living in "The Crowded House" lately. There is a flip side to every bad situation. Certainly your daughters relationship breakup from A's dad, caused a lot of family upheaval. But you had that chance to really bond and spend lots of time with A. That bond will last for a lifetime.

Yes BlueBay ... you are a worrier. Same as me ... I fret and worry about things every day. Often things I shouldnt need to worry about, sometimes minor things, sometime major. I sift through things in my head, keep winding them back through in another form, then re-hash and re-analyse them all over again. And then I continue to worry.

Probably the best advice I can provide @BlueBay , is to try to focus on things you can control. There are always things you have no control over. Your aim should be to focus on things that you have control over ... going for a walk, listening to some music, spending time with Little A, cooking dinner or other household chores ... things like that.

By stopping worrying about things which are out of your control, and becoming more involved in accomplishing things you can actually control and do now ... you are letting go of unproductive worrying about things which may never actually happen. We always tend to worry about worst case scenarios, which in a huge majority of cases ... never happens. So try your best to live your life in the present moment.

As you can already see from responses here @BlueBay ... your concerns that people here dont like you, are completely unfounded. @Maggie @MDT @Owlunar have each stated that. And I know there are many others.

@BlueBay I have known you for nearly 4 years now I think ... definitely long enough to know that I like you. And you write some lovely posts to myself and many other members. Dont undervalue yourself so much. 💖

Sherry 🌸🤗🌼

hi @Former-Member @Angels333 @Maggie @MDT @Owlunar @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51

Thank you @Former-Member for your support. I don't see myself very worthy. Especially today.
Didn't sleep well. Awake at 3.30am then agsin at 5.30 ehen A woke up. I'm tired. As for very teary. My depression is going downhill. I'm having flashbacks from the abuse sgsin. I'm anxious about the surgery.
my dietitian cancelled this morning phone consultation. Rescheduled for tomorrow mirning. That made me ho down even further.
hsd group therspy tiday. Good group of people. Only 6 people which is good.
It was a very tough session. It was in our own values, how we behave and relationships. I asked the psychologist if possible could he do a session on healthy relationships. He asked the group snd everyone said yes. He said he will do it next week but warned it will be very difficult snd challenging.

I'm so unsure about things in my life. I don't know Whst I want. Don't know where to go from here. Don't know if I deserve support snd hrlp from ithers.

I have stopped my meds last two days. My excessive eating is out of control. I'm sabotaging everything agsin. Msybe my weight snd eating is self sabotage as well. I don't know. I have no control and it really puts me on a spiral down.
I'm not looking forward to tomorrow's phone call with my dietitian. I feel he's going to judge me.

ohh my sister @BlueBay , you need your meds xxxx

sitting with you

Hello @Former-Member , @Angels333 , @Maggie , @MDT

@BlueBay I second @Shaz51 , you need your meds.

Would it be possible to take some tonight. It might be causing more sleep problems and flashbacks without them.

You have a lot on at the moment @BlueBay, surgery coming up, recovery, financial worries, just to name a few.

Please take care of yourself. Sending 💙💙💙💙💙

Good evening @BlueBay

I am so sorry to read that you are really doing it tough tonight. I am also asking you to reconsider stopping your medication without consulting your doctor first.

You do deserve all the support and help in the world so please try to help and support yourself as much as possible. If you need help off the forum I ask you to reach out to a help line or the SANE help centre.

We are all thinking of you and wishing you well

Whitehawk

@Former-Member

Im tired of doing this. I'm sick of working through my mentsl health. Fir the last 10 years all I've done every single day is think or talk about my mentsl health. My childhood sexual abuse. My mum who couldn't even hug me when I told her of my memories of the abuse. What are mums for?
im angry. I'm hurting. I'm not doing sll this anymore.
So many whys??? I want to self harm. I want to get something. I want to vent out. I'm sorry I'm not making sense. Don't worry about me.
I don't even know what I'm writing.
I don't want to be told off because of my meds.
I feel so insecure at the moment.
yiu know 10 yrs is a long time

Hi again @BlueBay

I sounds like you really need to get some support from off the foums as soon as possible so that you can keep yourself safe. I will send you a check in email as soon as I can BlueBay.

Please look to your safety plan and seek help.

regards

Whitehawk

@MDT @BlueBay sending gentle hugs to you both ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

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@MDT wrote:
My friend
I'm in a bad place too @BlueBay

Sitting with you my good friend

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@BlueBay if you can't manage to get back in your meds by yourself, please seek the help you need to do that. Ten years is a bl%dy long time ..... that's how long I stood by my soon2bX ..... but you know I would still have been standing by him if he hadn't done what he did last year ...... because mental health is the most important thing Hon, and if you care about people, then you care about people, and we all care for you.

I know you're feeling really down @BlueBay, but you know within yourself that you are at one of those points when you're not managing, so you need outside support as well as the forums.

Fo you find that the flashbacks increase when you become really stressed about other things ?

I agree that stopping your medications might be what has triggered the onset of the flashbacks.

Hugs n hugs Hon ..... reach out for the help you need.