not feeling good

@saturnzoon I hope you are feeling better soon

Hope you're getting plenty of rest @saturnzoon and you feel better soon 🌻🌻

Really struggling with thoughts of not wanting to live anymore. Life is too hard. Finances wirk health fsmily home me and my mental illness thst has taken so much away

I need to just go

I’m a bother to everyone 😢😢

Hang in there @BlueBay

Your not a burden to anyone here I assure you. I know everything is a struggle and it can feel overwhelming. You have taken lots of positive steps lately so try and focus on that. You have made progress, change is diffucult, but, you should be proud of all the things you have done.

I'm not sure what the weather is like down your way, but, maybe you can go for a nice walk and get some sunshine. Put on your headphones and try not to think to much, just be in the moment. Give your grandaughter a big hug.

Sending you lots of good vibes, hugs and

Hi @BlueBay

Hearing how tough things feel right now and the struggles you are sharing - like @Gazza75 change is difficult but its important to try to remember the positive things you have done. Maybe you can try to list them in the Daily goals, motivation and check in thread for some distraction?

As a reminder, if you're concerned about your safety or you'd like counselling support, you can reach out to the following services:

Lifeline 13 11 14

Suicide Callback Service 1300 659 467

Take good care of yourself today and please do reach out for support

You’re never a bother @BlueBay 💜💜💜💜

You're not a bother @BlueBay - you just feel you are

You certainly don't bother us at all - we care about you a lot and how long your thread is!! - if you were a bother you would not have all the replies you get - and I certainly like to read what you write - I know you have your bad days but there are also the good days - what about A's birthday weekend - I haven't been in the forum much lately but I have read about the parties - and how great that is!

I had Mental Illness long enough and tough enough to know it does take a person's passion for life away - and right now you have financial issues which can really bring us down - and it is hard to get out of it all - however you did apply for anoher job and you have plans to move and moving is a mixed blessing - it's good and it's tough - I have moved often enough -

Then your son is planning to go overseas and bad lack that his graduation falls when you will be on the Sunshine Coast which is disappointing - but children leave the nest and dates clash -

And having your D and her partner living with you - and as much fun as a 2yo is it's not easy - and you have the crowded how syndrome - tough one - and then Huffnpuff has his OCD going on and can't keep his mitts out of your business and none of this is your fault

I hear you - dragging yourself through a MI is hard yards and I remember thinking life could never change and never get better and I was stuck there - it has changed - some of those changes were simple and positive - others were a big deal and somethings no one would want at all - but there is light at the end of the tunnel that signifies a better life and your wanting it is want you want out of life - it's getting there that's hard - but I did it - a long time ago - I found the life I have now and see my whole life as worth living

I really hope that in the future you will look back at this time and know it was the making of the person you will become -

And you didn't ask to have BPD - it's some kind of chemical imbalance in your brain that causes you to see things in a negative way - you are no bother to me and I am someone

Hear you though

Dec

@BlueBay ....💕

Hi @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar @Maggie @Gazza75 Thankyou for being here for me.

I’m very low at the moment. Crying all the time when no one can see me. I phoned my doctor yesterday who was very supportive and concerned. I wanted to end my life. 😢

Didn’t sleep well last night. Dragged myself out this morning for a walk to clear my head. But it was worse. I started crying. I stopped walking and called the CAT team. The lady was supportive snd listened. I cried I could hardly talk. I was still very upset so I called my doctor and told him I’m so over this. He wanted to see me which I went and cried in his room. I’m blaming myself for so much. He was worried but said I was still improving. I didn’t brlieve him.

Im home now with a coffee and scone.

I don’t care about eating excessively today. I’m over this food crap.

Ive bought meat for slow cooker. Had to watch really how much to spend. Can’t believe only $50 in account until next week. Will have to ask son and daughter for some money. Do you know how thst makes me feel? A pathetic terrible mum. It’s not how it’s mesnt to be.

I’m seeing my psychologist after wirk tomorrow. I’m still very fragile.

I need to get through today.

Not sure I can. 😢😢

just want to disappear run away Nd not have to deal with anything. I just can’t deal or think of anything. ITS ALL TOO MUCH 😢😢

@Shaz51 @Razzle @Former-Member @MDT

@BlueBay, not sure what to say, but, I hear you.

Your definitely not a pathetic terrible Mum. You sound really overwhelmed at the moment. Just take it slow and be gentle with yourself. I'm glad to hear from you and that you are reaching out for support and help. It takes a lot of courage to do what you do.

I/we are all supporting you.